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Reminding myself not to fall in love with who I THINK he is.

Hello again Global Grinders!! I had a listening party for my upcoming album and a few ladies approached me about one of my songs – “I’m in love with who I thought he was.” We seem to all find ourselves in this situation at one point or another, and I think it’s time we realize that who we want a man to be might not be anywhere near what he sees himself being or can ever become. Honestly this topic really hits close to home for me, and to have women I’ve never met before not only understand but FEEL where I was coming from made me realize that we really go through a lot and we don’t have to.

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One of the young women I spoke with was actually in a physically abusive relationship. In her mind the fighting and the bruises were his way of showing he cared and that he was never taught how to express his feelings. She felt that he wouldn’t have reacted at all if he didn’t actually love her and she sincerely believed at that time it was her “job” to be the one to teach him how to love without using his fists! She was so in love with the idea of this man that she took azz whoopings…yes…actual beat downs hoping that in the long run he would change and be the man she imagined he could be.

Ladies, if a man is cheating, if he’s lying to you, if he’s hitting you, if he is disrespectful. Get out of the situation. Period. As women we are nurturing and caring by nature, so of course when we find a man we try to “fix” or “mend” him. But who is going to mend us when we let these broken men break our spirit and our hearts, or leave us with baggage that we carry into the next situation?? We think so highly of our men that we often don’t like to believe the truth when it’s right in front of us. I’m here to tell you that there are certain flaws we can’t and shouldn’t have to deal with. Don’t let yourself fall in love with who you THINK a man is, know and learn his character.

-Drew Sidora

Follow Me @drewsidora