Free Breaks Down Dan Gilbert’s Letter To Cleveland

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The Breaking Down of Dan Gilbert’s letter:

Dear Cleveland, All of Northeast Ohio, and Cleveland Cavaliers Supporters Wherever You May Be Tonight;

Translation: Hello subjects of Cleveland.

As you now know, our former hero, who grew up in the very region that he deserted this evening, is no longer a Cleveland Cavalier.

Translation: The former star quality guy that helped fill up the seats, the other one besides Shaq is gone!  He just up and left… and nobody knows why he left. His sneakers are no longer in his locker.

This was announced with a several day, narcissistic, self-promotional build-up culminating with a national TV special of his ‘decision’ unlike anything ever ‘witnessed’ in the history of sports and probably the history of entertainment.

Translation: As a Cavs owner I have never seen the likes of a basketball player having the same level of narcissism as me! Is he an entertainer or a basketball player? No real ball player would be smart enough to pull off a media frenzy such as he did. It’s a blur between entertainment and sports.

Free: Aren’t sports supposed to be entertaining? Moving on…

Clearly, this is bitterly disappointing to all of us.

 

Translation: Cccccclearly I am pissed off!  How dare he leave us before we could trade him?

Free: This is what is really hurting.

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The good news is that the ownership team and the rest of the hard-working, loyal, and driven staff over here at your hometown Cavaliers have not betrayed you nor NEVER will betray you.

Translation: The good news is that the rest of us aren’t leaving you. We’ll be right here in our boxes eating filet mignon all season while you buy 15 dollar beers and 8 dollar hot dogs.

There is so much more to tell you about the events of the recent past and our more than exciting future. Over the next several days and weeks, we will be communicating much of that to you.

Translation: We are not done slinging Mr. James through the mud but first we must re-focus on the team.

 

You simply don’t deserve this kind of cowardly betrayal.
You have given so much and deserve so much more.
In the meantime, I want to make one statement to you tonight:

Translation: James is a coward for not doing what we asked. Instead he did what he wanted, it’s not like he’s given Cleveland some of the best damn games we ever had! Who does this guy think he is?

‘I PERSONALLY GUARANTEE THAT THE CLEVELAND CAVALIERS WILL WIN AN NBA CHAMPIONSHIP BEFORE THE SELF-TITLED FORMER ‘KING’ WINS ONE’

You can take it to the bank.

If you thought we were motivated before tonight to bring the hardware to Cleveland, I can tell you that this shameful display of selfishness and betrayal by one of our very own has shifted our ‘motivation’ to previously unknown and previously never experienced levels.

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Some people think they should go to heaven but NOT have to die to get there.

Free: Whoa, whoa, whoa Mr. Gilbert! That sounds like a threat…King James’ attorneys should jump on that, it also sounds as if you are trying to turn the entire city that he grew up in against him so that he can’t go home safely and continue his programs for the kids.

Sorry, but that’s simply not how it works.
This shocking act of disloyalty from our home grown ‘chosen one’ sends the exact opposite lesson of what we would want ou

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