It’s one of the hardest emotions to relinquish, but it’s also the most freeing feeling to ever experience: Forgiveness.
- To for·give (fr-gv, fôr-)
- v. for·gave (-gv), for·giv·en (-gvn), for·giv·ing, for·gives
- 1. To excuse for a fault or an offense; pardon.
- 2. To renounce anger or resentment against.
- 3. To absolve from payment of (a debt, for example)
Inner peace is not possible without the ability to forgive. Period. And although forgiveness doesn’t come without angst, anger, fury, and bitterness – it must come.
The idea of second chances comes as a highly debated topic in a culture where revenge is second nature and the theory of vengeance best served cold remains a facet in our daily teachings.
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Many people wondered why Grammys producers agreed to let Chris Brown perform at this year’s award ceremony, and Grammy producer Ken Erlich’s response was simple, “everyone deserves a second chance.”
Whether Chris deserves a second chance still remains a polarizing discussion, but the fact remains, without the opportunity of chances, our ability to lead a better more inspiring life will fall to the wayside of impossibility.
Chris f*cked up, there’s no doubt, debate, or skewed perception about it, but when do we allow someone to move beyond their faults, failures, and gross mistakes?
When I see editorial pieces on why hatred and disdain for an individual like Chris Brown is necessary, I ask myself, really?
How do we move on from a culture of revenge to a culture of forgiveness?
Tupac said “revenge is the sweetest joy next to getting p*ssy,” but what Tupac didn’t say was forgiveness IS the sweetest revenge.
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Because it takes more courage than an army of 20,000 men and more spirit than Gandhi himself, to forgive.
It’s easy to hate or not like Chris Brown. It’s easy to be angry. But what’s not easy is to forgive him.
Forgiveness isn’t only about the trespasser, it’s also about those who have been trespassed.
The question of Chris Brown’s remorse still remains a topic of conversation, and from my own perspective, I do believe he is sorry.
Not only for violating Rihanna in one of the most heinous ways possible, but also causing great pain to his fans, family, and the people who believed in him most.
Now, I know many of you will say, Chris Brown sure doesn’t act like he’s sorry.
How should a sorry person act after one has apologized, accepted responsibility, and paid their debts?
Should a sorry person hide? Should a sorry not experience joy in their life? Should a sorry person not defend what’s left of their dignity?
The key to forgiving has everything to do with the art of letting go. And everyone needs to let go of the anger and resentment, INCLUDING Chris, and just move on with life.
This does NOT mean you have to forget, because forgetting the past doesn’t change the reality, but the act of forgiveness allows for us to move forward in the future.
I’ve learned over the years that many people will forget what you’ve said, but rarely do people forget what you’ve done.
And that seems to be the case for Chris Brown.
Do I wish Chris would stop ranting on Twitter? Yes!
Yes, he’s compulsive. Yes, he needs guidance. Yes, he needs to continue with counseling. Yes, his rants show a lack of tact and maturity.
And yes, I wish he would just ignore his hecklers, because the outbursts are obviously making it worse.
Does Chris deserve the right to live his life without being constantly reminded of a HEINOUS mistake?
That too, I say yes, but with TIME of course.
Time heals all woulds, but at some point, whether it’s next year or four scores, we have to move beyond it.
You don’t have to like Chris. You don’t have to support him. You don’t have to listen to his music. You don’t have to do anything, but let it go.
At least for your own sanity.
Let’s not forget, Chris Brown was once a victim too.
A victim of family circumstance and a victim of his own mother’s abuse. As a child, he was once a chronic bed wetter, due to the witnessing of his mother’s beatings.
I am no doctor so I don’t understand the psychology behind abuse victims and the ability of the once abused to abuse, but we know it’s a cycle, and we know it can be stopped, with the exception of pedophiles, of course.
I think the resistance to forgive Chris stems from the perception that he’s never paid the price and never seemed sincerely remorseful, but if those sentiments are fact, then he will pay.
Maybe not in this life, but in his next or the after life.
Forgiveness is a hard concept to understand. There are no rule books. There is no time limit. There is no set guide. But we know it comes from within.
I would like to say this to Chris and anyone else who is seeking forgiveness.
A wise man once said, “You can’t undo anything you’ve already done, but you can face up to it. You can tell the truth. You can seek forgiveness. And then let God do the rest.”
