Seven years ago, before Jermain Taylor and Bernard Hopkins’ second fight, R.Kelly sang the most ratchet National Anthem of all time.
The thing, which you can watch above, was epic: it featured a jazzy beat, dancers in the back and a chant of “clap your hands” during the middle of the anthem.
That will hold up as the most ratchet National Anthem moment of all time, until R.Kelly’s “Ignition (Remix)” becomes our country’s anthem.
And there’s a chance that it actually might happen.
Earlier today, we reported that there is an official White House petition being passed around stating that the “Ignition (Remix)” should become the United States’ National Anthem.
Currently, the petition has close to 6,000 signatures; it only needs 100,000 signatures for the White House to take it seriously.
While we love the “Ignition (Remix)” we’re not sure if it should be our country’s National Anthem. Not because an R.Kelly song isn’t worthy, but because there’s so many other Kelly songs that could be chosen.
Here’s five other R.Kelly songs that would make a better National Anthem than the “Ignition (Remix).”
“Gotham City (Remix)”
There’s two problems with having the “Gotham City (Remix)” as the country’s National Anthem: One, we’re not sure if middle America would vibe with a song about “Gotham City” and “the ghetto.” And, two, no one should be forced to recite a verse from Strings. However, besides those two negatives, “Gotham City” is the kind of uplifting track that this country needs.
“The World’s Greatest”
Americans are known for a lot of things: being humble isn’t one of them. We’re the best, we know we’re the best and we’re not scared to tell the entire world that we’re the best. That’s why “The World’s Greatest,” R.Kelly’s very non-humble-brag of a song, would make a fantastic National Anthem.
You read what we wrote about “The World’s Greatest,” right? Well ditto for the Keri Hilson-featured “Number One.” However, do expect a White House petition against “Number One” from crazed Bey fans who just don’t want to let poor Keri Hilson win.
We’re not sure why singing the National Anthem has to be such a super serious thing. We wouldn’t be mad at an anthem that makes people dance. Which is why a song like “Happy People” would be perfect. What, you can’t get a job? No health insurance? DON’T WORRY CLAP YO HANDS AND KEEP ON DANCING, GUUUURL.
“I Believe I Can Fly”
What is more American than Bugs Bunny, Michael Jordan and commercialism? Nothing, folks. Honestly, “I Believe I Can Fly,” from the Space Jam soundtrack, would be the perfect National Anthem. It’s also a song everyone knows the words to, since every 6th Grader learned it during their end of the year recital.
Now, everyone, let’s hmm: Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.