Thank you, Yeezus. Football is back.
After three months of sports nothingness (baseball and tennis don’t count, brah) football, America’s number one pastime, is back. And it looks like it’s going to be another memorable season.
What makes football so great is its unpredictability: you don’t know what’s going to happen. Like, really, would anyone be surprised by a Jacksonville Jaguars vs. St. Louis Rams Super Bowl? (OK, we would be shocked by that).
So in the spirit of another great NFL season ahead, here are our predictions for the 2013 NFL season.
The New York Jets will be better than you think
Man, everyone is down on the New York Jets, from Ex-Jet Ladainian Tomlinson to ESPN.com, which has them ranked last. But we’re not as sour on the Jets as you all are. Why? Have you seen their schedule? It’s a beauty: they play teams like the Cleveland Browns, the Carolina Panthers, the Oakland Raiders, the Tennessee Titans and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Add that to the fact that they’ll have two divisional games against the Bills and Miami, games that are always competitive. So it wouldn’t shock us to see this team win 7-10 games, no matter how putrid the quarterback play is.
The Miami Dolphins are going to win the AFC East
You know what should worry Dolphins fans this season? The offensive line, more specifically, the left tackle, which is played by Jon Martin. He stinks. He stunk for the five games he played last year, and he’s been pretty awful this postseason. However, if the Dolphins can find some way to tape this line up, this team can do some things. The rest of the team is good enough, plus their schedule is weak, so they’ll make a run. If Dolphins get an Andy Dalton year out of their second year quarterback, Ryan Tannehill, they should be able to bang with the Patriots, a team on the slide.
RG3 is going to have a second year similar to Cam Newton’s second year
After having a breakthrough, wondrous rookie season, Cam Newton had a sophomore slump of a season last year, one that was filled with controversy and turnovers. We get the sense we might see a letdown season from Robert Griffin III. There are many things to worry about if you’re a Washington Football Team fan: Griffin’s past struggles with injuries, his tension with his coach, Mike Shanahan, and his thin skin. Also something to consider: DC is a brutal sports town; we sense tough times for the kid.
Atlanta is going to have the big drop off this year
Every year we see a playoff team take a big step backwards. Atlanta is going to be that team this year. They play in a tough division (you can see any of those NFC North teams taking it) and they are pretty middle of the pack in both offense and defense. Matter of fact, last year seemed kinda fluky (if only Seattle would have just shown up in the first half...).
Matt Stafford is going to be the comeback player of the year
Despite a spotty 2012 season, Matt Stafford received a five year $76.5 million dollar contract. No more bullshitting, Matty. It’s time to bang with the big boys. We think he’ll do just fine. The Detroit Lions just have too many weapons (Calvin Johnson, Reggie Bush, etc) for them not to be a factor. Now if only they could do something about that coach…
The Broncos are super overrated
Yep, we said it. Everywhere you go, you see Broncos as the team to represent the AFC in the Super Bowl. A lot of this has to do with the success they had last year, and the signing of Wes Welker. Here’s what worries us: first, their schedule last year was a joke. During their 11-game winning streak, they played the Chiefs and the Chargers twice, the Bucs, the Panthers, the Browns and the Saints. Not exactly murderous row. As for Wes, you should always be skeptical when a big time wide receiver goes from one team to another. It almost never works.
The Giants will be a problem in the playoffs
Out of all the teams in the NFC East, the New York Giants have been the quietest. That, folks is a good thing. This team has proven in the past that they don’t like high expectations. The two times they have won the Super Bowl, in 2008 and 2011, the team was quiet in the offseason. Just know this: as long as there is a Eli Manning and a Victor Cruz, this team will be good.
The New Orleans Saints won’t have that big comeback year
We know everyone thinks that the Saints are going to play with this crazed vendetta after what the league did to them last year, but nah: that defense was just too terrible. In fact, it was all-time terrible, and the addition of Rob Ryan as defensive coordinator will only do so much. Drew Brees and his offense is still gravy, but what’s the good of scoring 40 points when your opponent is just going to score 41?
The MVP of the league is going to be Russell Wilson
Russell Wilson is the real deal. In his rookie season, he threw for 26 touchdowns, tying the rookie record set by Peyton Manning. More importantly, he doesn’t turn the ball over (only 10 interceptions last year) and he has proven to be clutch in the playoffs. Add to that fact that overall, man, this Seattle team has no weakness: they’re fast, athletic and come to play.
The Cincinnati Bengals will beat the Seattle Seahawks in the Super Bowl
Like we just said, the Seattle Seahawks are crazy good, and deserve all the hype they have been getting. (Our hope is that they meet up with the 49ers for an epic playoff series). As for the Bengals, they are young and tough, with the only concern being their quarterback, Andy Dalton, who is good, but not great. It’s OK, he doesn’t have to be great, the wide receiver and running back positions are absolutely stacked with talent, like A.J. Green, Mohamed Sanu and Marvin Jones on the receiver end and BenJarvus Green-Ellis and Giovani Bernard at running back. They also have the best defensive line in the league, with Carlos Dunlap and Michael Johnson holding the fort. Fear the Bengals, ya’ll. Watch.
