Last night may have been the worst night of life for Anthony Weiner, but it was a win-win for NYC mayoral candidate Bill de Blasio and his son’s afro.
Even though the elder de Blasio was the top vote-getter with above 40 percent of the support (no, he really whooped Weiner’s 4 percent ass) in Tuesday’s Democratic primary, it was 15-year-old Dante’s afro that was…and always is…the star of the show.
And I say that with the utmost sincerity and respect. That shit is fucking awesome.
So it’s no wonder that New York voters are really crediting Dante’s perfectly coiffed crown for winning the Democratic slot.
After all, nearly 6 in 10 voters said they liked Papa de Blasio more after they saw Dante’s afro campaign commercial. And then #Fromentum happened. Coincidence?
Nah. That afro runs shit. Take a look:
It helped his dad win over the “power of the people,” as clearly demonstrated in this photograph of Father de Blasio raising his fist in the air in an act of solidarity…
It is capable of solving that pesky race problem we have in this here ‘Merica…
It served as his father’s security blanket during the stressful mayoral campaign…
It gives him wings…
It emits the light of a hundred angels riding on unicorns into the sunset…
And it supported his dad that one time he almost lost his balance…
It’s camouflage…
It keeps him so warm that he doesn’t even need to wrap a scarf around himself in the winter…but he does anyway, because who doesn’t need a plaid scarf?
It defies all rude descriptions of an afro looking like a microphone…
It was made in Brooklyn…
It’s a lot of work to manage, but who said epicness and greatness came easy?
It once won a trophy…
It kind of makes him look like a member of the Jackson 5. Which basically means he’s the King of Pop.
And that shit won his dad the Democratic spot in the NYC mayoral race.
That’s one perfect hairstyle. I should know…
PHOTO SOURCE: Getty | Giphy
