Pregnant. Battered. Injunction out against her husband. A woman fires a warning shot as she faces a threat from him. She is at home. The shot is fired at the ceiling. It goes through a wall. It’s a warning shot. It hits no one, hurts no one. That was August 2010, Jacksonville, Florida, nine days after she had given birth and while her baby is fighting for her life in hospital. The woman says she “stood her ground”. She faced a threat, from a husband who had battered her while she was pregnant, against whom she had an injunction, who threatened her in her home – so she stood her ground.
That shot landed her in court. She was charged with aggravated assault with a weapon. Her “stand your ground” defense? Rejected by the prosecutor. In May 2012, she was sentenced to 20 years. That’s the mandatory minimum sentence with that charge in Florida. Marissa Alexander is her name. Right now, she sits in a Florida jail. On September 26th, a new trial was ordered. No date has been set for the trial and the judge has revoked Alexander’s right to invoke a stand your ground defense. That new trial means fresh urgency to this case – and a new fight for freedom for this black woman. Her name is Marissa Alexander.
October is Domestic Violence Awareness month. It’s a time when the numbers are wheeled out to remind us just how frequently women are battered, beaten, bloodied, brutalized, killed by men. One in four women will experience domestic violence in her lifetime. Every year, one in three women who is a victim of homicide is murdered by her current or former partner. Women ages 20 to 24 are at greatest risk of becoming victims of domestic violence. One woman is beaten by her husband or partner every 15 seconds in the United States. Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women between the ages of 15 and 44 in the United States, more than car accidents, muggings, and rapes combined.
Here’s the thing. The numbers don’t really move us. We listen. We half listen. We judge. We switch off. Why doesn’t she just leave him? Why does she make him mad? Why does she stay? Why won’t she control her mouth? That’s what so many of us say – men and women. We hold women responsible for the feelings and violence committed by men, and we want – and expect -them to take action and responsibility
This month, we’re doing something different. We’re talking to the men. ‘Emotional Justice Unplugged’, ‘Chicago Taskforce on Violence Against Girls & Women’, ‘Free MARISSA Now’ launched a nationwide month long letter writing campaign inviting all men – black, white, brown, yellow, red – to engage in pursuing the freedom of MARISSA ALEXANDER and the domestic violence movement by sharing stories that deal with the action, reaction, inaction of men in their family, community, circle and the legacy of that behavior. Every single day, one of those letters is uploaded here – theSWAGspot tumblr, a community of conversations for men with other men created by ’emotional justice’. This campaign is an intimate public conversation on domestic violence and men, their silence, their absence, the anger, pain, rage, fear – and how their voices can impact the domestic violence movement.
Play the numbers game when it comes to men, for a second. According to a 2007 poll commissioned by the Family Violence Prevention Fund and Verizon Wireless:
• 56% of men—and 60 % of those age 18 to 34—have reason to believe a member of their immediate or extended family, a close friend or acquaintance has been in a domestic violence or sexual assault situation.
• More than half (57%) think they can personally make at least some difference in preventing violence and 73% think they can make at least some difference in promoting healthy, respectful, non-violent relationships.
• Two-thirds of men1 (67%) say domestic violence and sexual assault are very or fairly common in the United States.
• Seven in ten men are willing to talk to children about healthy relationships (up from 55% in a poll conducted in 2000). Two-thirds say they would sign a pledge; an equal number would sign a petition or contact lawmakers about the issue.
This campaign takes those numbers and transforms them into action. Mariame Kaba Co-Founder of Chicago Taskforce on Violence Against Girls and Women says: “Male violence against women and girls is an issue that cannot be solved primarily by women. Given this reality, this project seeks to engage men as allies who can speak to other men about this issue. Research shows men are willing to get involved in efforts to prevent domestic violence and sexual assault because they see themselves as implicated in the issue.”
Each week, GlobalGrind will bring you a compilation of those letters. We’ve got letters from incarcerated teens, white men from the mid-west, scholars from down South, artists, poets, activists – all kinds of men.
We’re just starting Week 3. Below are a compilation of letters from the first two weeks. Here are a couple of examples:
Dear Marissa from Kai M Green
“…….this was my house. No, this was my mom’s house and I would protect her. Triggers. I went down stairs and I grabbed a knife. Mom couldn’t do it. I thought I could take this man’s life. Power. I would take it by force. I stood in the doorway. Television glared through the darkness. I held the knife up so he could see. I HATE YOU! I declared…….”
“……….Complicated. When that mother held that phone and threatened to call the cops, but didn’t. When I held that knife and imagined killing my father, but didn’t. When you shot bullets in the air and not in his chest. When the only option is 911, but you know they will not protect……….. Your crime? Saving your own Black life……….”
Read the full letter here: http://the-swag-spot.tumblr.com/post/63090162734/dear-marissa
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Dear Marissa from Kiese
“……..I2 minutes. That’s how long it takes me to prepare a pot of grits. 12 minutes. That’s three songs off of this shiny Drake album I’ve been trying to make myself appreciate. 12 minutes. That’s how long it took me to write the first three sentences of this letter. 12 minutes. That’s how long it took a jury to convince themselves that you had no right to fear….I believe that you were scared. And I believe that you should be. I believe that your partner, like me and like much of this nation, has leaned on you for survival while attempting to mangle your body, your trust, your imagination, your access to healthy choice and truth. I wonder if we have the will to change. I am afraid of that answer.”
Read the full letter here: http://the-swag-spot.tumblr.com/post/63089808016/dear-marissa
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All the letters from the #31forMARISSA campaign can be found and read here.
Want to write a letter? Email it to: theswagspot7@gmail.com.
This Thursday October 17th @ 3pm, GlobalGrind will lead a Twitter chat: #31forMARISSA campaign, we’ll Tweet about men engaging in domestic violence issues, dealing with violence, rage, fear, masculinity. Follow:- @esther_armah, @prisonculture with #31forMARISSA.
Esther Amrah is a political commentator, an award winning international journalist and she devises creative campaigns on emotional justice and social justice issues. Follower her @esther_armah
