There is undoubtedly a wealth of knowledge lurking amongst the pages of these Internets we love so dearly, but sometimes enough is just enough. Advice on how to live life and constant reminders of the perils of adulthood were once limited to dinners with your family and lectures from your bio teacher, but now, just about every website has a list of “Things you should know in your twenties,” “Who not to date in your twenties,” etcetera, etcetera.
The blow? These people aren’t you, don’t live your life, and don’t know your personal goals, yet still offer up unsolicited guidelines on how you should live. Each person develops at a different pace based on different variables in their life, so sorry to break it to ya, but there are no actual “21 Things You Should Know At 21.”
The bottom line? Everyone needs to stop being so damn obsessed with how us “narcissistic, over-rewarded, technology loving, talentless, self indulgent” 20-somethings are living our 20-something years of life. Here are 20-something things we’re tired of hearing about being 20-something.
“These are the best years of your life.”
Oh, did you already live my entire life for me? If so, let me stop exerting all this extra energy now and let you tell me how it ends.
“It’s time to settle down.”
The inclusion of the word “settle” here implies that it’s probably not the right time to do it. It’s time to be great, how about that for advice?
“It’s time to date around.”
You normally hear this one if you have been in a relationship for a few years already, but aren’t ready to completely commit to marriage and kids at 25. Most frequently used on young men, who are told to “have fun” while women are told to “settle down.” Am I the only one who thinks there is something off in this equation?
“You should know how to cook one good meal for a man/woman.”
You should know that Ramen is a damn good meal and Google / YouTube can help you learn anything in 5 hours or less.
“You’re still too young to worry about XYZ.”
Oh? Is that so? Let me call Sallie Mae and tell her you said so.
“Accept that you’re an adult.”
Everyone is obsessed with youth, yet rushing others to join them in old age. Cool your jets. Being an adult has nothing to do with age.
“Follow your dreams!”
Well, thank you Toucan Sam for that impenetrable advice, just don’t try to advise me to do better when my dreams aren’t what you wanted them to be.
“Work and school come first, then the man of your dreams will find you.”
The life detector determined THAT was a lie.
“Outline your entire life and follow it exactly.”
Sure, having a 5-year-plan is great groundwork, but outlining your entire life without making room for change, wiggle room and new experiences is a fast road to distress.
“You have time to figure it all out, don’t stress.”
Often interpreted as “chill out, play video games all day and don’t care.” All time is valuable time, which makes this horrible advice.
“You should be thinking about marriage.”
Would you sign any other lifetime contract right at this moment because someone else suggested it? We’re going to guess no.
“You have to follow my outline to what it means to be an adult.”
No, if I wanted to be a carbon copy of you I would have to do that, but I am more into this idea of becoming my own person.
“Stop being selfish.”
If selfish means putting your phone on silent to catch up on sleep, buying a jacket you really, really want and skipping lunch for a week, then fine. This is the time to put yourself first before you embark (maybe) on a journey of putting wife/husband/kids/work before your personal needs. And if you don’t spoil you, who will?
“You absolutely should be thinking about kids soon.”
No caption needed.
“You need to live on your own.”
You need to understand what it is like to saw off a limb to be able to afford an apartment without roommates in any major city.
“It’s time to stop partying so much.”
But why? Beer is really, really good. All these bars and clubs and this trillion dollar nightlife business can’t be for the kids under 21.
“You shouldn’t have more than XYZ sexual partners at your age.”
Ah, shaddup. Talk about sexual health, not sexual taboos.
“You don’t know anything about “real” life.”
Smoke, mirrors, and perception, that is real life.
“Love always happens when you’re not looking for someone.”
No, love happens on Match.com when you sign up for a profile; Ryan Gosling is not going to find you sitting on your couch.
“You should know exactly what you want to do with the rest of your life at this very moment.”
Says the people who probably don’t know what their life is at that very moment…
The takeaway? Don’t let anyone project their fears about their own missed moments in life onto you. Live your 20-somethings how you feel it fit, and take advice from people you value.
The end.
