Polar Vortex Takeover: 15 Ways To Survive The Historic Temperature Lows Coming Our Way (LIST)

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    Sub-Zero Temperatures Put Chicago Into Deep Freeze

    Whoever said global warming isn’t real was a goddamn lie.

    After experiencing some majorly high temperatures this winter, the chill is finally arriving. And Mother Nature is making sure that this blast of arctic air making its way across America is going to really kick our ass.

    Reportedly, the cold front, also dubbed a polar vortex, making its way through the midwest and to the east coast are some of the coldest temperatures we’ve felt in 20 years. Chicago schools (which never close for snowy weather) will close for the second day in a row. More than 3,700 flights were grounded as of Monday. And 27 states are under warnings or watches for severe wind chill (we’re talking 40 below).

    It’s serious guys. This lady in Detroit had to ski to work.

    Detroit Deals With Heavy Snow And Bitter Cold

    This guy’s glasses froze in Chicago.

    Sub-Zero Temperatures Put Chicago Into Deep Freeze

    And this boat is dangerously making its way through icy waters in the Great Lakes somewhere.

    Detroit Deals With Heavy Snow And Bitter Cold

    But on a serious note, the cold winds are to blame for at least 16 deaths, according to the BBC.

    And just to give you an idea of how cold it really is, get this — this polar vortex is essentially an arctic cyclone that pushes North Pole wind south. So…thanks Santa.

    Let me break it down to you. If you go outside for minutes — seconds even — without properly bundling up, you risk freezing. Like, in real life. So play games if you want. Not to scare you or anything, but the weather is pretty extreme.

    But no worries, we’ve got some basic tips for you to survive the next few days under this ungodly weather.

    Bundle Up If You Must Go Out

    monkey

    In a mini shearling coat if you have one. This monkey has life figured out.

    Turn Up The Heat

    giphy

    And just cry about it later when that Pepco or Con Edison bill comes in.

    Pile On The Blankets

    blankets

    If turning up the heat and risking a $320 bill is not an option. Bonus points for making a blanket fort.

    Soup. And Lots Of It

    Surprise all your friends who thought soup was never an option for someone who only eats Chipotle burrito bowls with two salad dressings. No black beans please.

    Netflix (If You’re Stuck At Home)

    netflix

    Because your boyfriend didn’t wait for you to watch the last episode of Orange Is The New Black. This polar vortex is payback. House of Cards here we come.

    Cuddles…& Other Thangs

    taye

    The benefits are endless. Trust.

    Binging

    girls

    Because like the whales, we needs the blubber to keep warm.

    Science Experiments

    Because this shit never gets old if you’re suffering from cabin fever.

    Rekindling That Flame With Your Bed

    homer

    How do you think bears in Siberia get through arctic winters? Hibernation my dude. Wait, are there bears in Siberia?

    Moisturize 

    mois

    Because the cold will fuck up some skin. Stay supple…unless you want to be him…

    larry

    And If You Can Prevent It…Don’t…

    fox

    Go…

    dog

    Outside.

    sailor

    Duh. You’ve Been Warned

    jack

    PHOTO CREDIT: Getty, Giphy

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