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This is an iPhone.

It’s basically all we ever needed to survive. It does everything we need it to do: Take pictures, guide us to our destination, send messages to our friends, hold all of our precious emails, gifs, notes, photos, movies and music.

It’s a portable encyclopedia, it teaches us new things, and it’s basically the companion you can’t live without.

We even have our own personal catty concierge by the name of Siri.

And if your only comeback is “iPhone’s don’t feed you,” you’re wrong. They do. It’s called Seamless. And it’s great. And you are probably just a hater if you think we’re too dependent on our trusty electronic.

Because seriously, what was life before Steve Jobs blessed us with this sorcery? Hell. That’s what it was. Complete, uncivilized hell.

So on the visionary’s birthday, we celebrate Steve Jobs by acknowledging his contribution to mankind — one that changed the world and completely set us apart from the rest of the animal kingdom.

And be thankful. Because otherwise this is what you would be doing without the iPhone blessing bestowed upon us all…

Exert this much energy while trying to call up your girlfriends:

It was never that serious…

Flipping your phone:

Just…lame…

Dealing with buttons on buttons:

Why? So my stiletto nails can break? 

Using this contraption:

And almost microwave your entire face off…

Actually using a real-life map:

What is paper?

Or asking someone other than Siri for directions…

Like, actually talk to another human being face-to-face?

Logging into FB from your desktop:

I have things to do…

Listening to music on this:

Or worse, this:

Like, what is it even?

Actually watching the news for the weather:

Actually watching the news for news:

Google me baby…

Actually calling to order food from a restaurant…on your phone with a cord:

Like, being forced to call someone on a phone? Oh nah, that’s awkward…

Actually spelling things out. Correctly:

Okay, maybe auto correct isn’t the greatest …

But overall, the iPhone is. And it basically saves lives. So deal with it.

We’ve got it bad.

PHOTO CREDIT: Giphy