It’s happening again.
When Kanye West dropped Yeezus, he followed up with the birth of his baby girl North West, but Jay-Z overshadowed the whole she-bang by announcing that in less than a month, he would be dropping that Magna Carta Holy Grail. The first blessing came with a free download for the first 1 million Samsung users on July 4th, and the second round is coming for the general masses on July 9th. With the click of a download link, everyone will have access to Jigga Man’s lyrical ingenuity laced with double entendres.
What exactly does that mean? It means that the raps of Magna Carta Holy Grail are now in the hands of the reckless youth and eager-to-be-relevant social media stunters who will tweet, Facebook, Instagram caption and sidewalk chalk the fuck out of every catchy line on the album before you even form a strong opinion on the body of work.
When Yeezus leaked, we served up a cheat sheet of social media quotables, and what we do for ‘Ye we must do for Jay. So for the second time around, we’ve decided to round up all the most notable quotables from MCHG that we know you’re going to abuse on social media. But if you’re going to do it, do it right and consider this an accurate cheat sheet, in 140 characters or less for Twitter and straight for the punch one-liners on Instagram.
You’re welcome; #allfacts.
WHO WILL ABUSE THIS: The emotional male on your timeline who revels in sending subliminal song lyrics to all his exes.
“And baby, it’s amazing I’m in this maze with you I just can’t crack your code
One day you screaming you love me loud the next day you’re so cold.”
“But soon as all the money blows all the pigeons take flight.”
“Now I got tattoos on my body, psycho bitches in my lobby.”
“I’m getting high, sitting low.”
“Camera snapping, my eyes hurt.”
WHO WILL ABUSE THIS: The hood rich drug dealers, the dreamers, and the one who currently spends a majority of their Instagram uploads letting you know they have those new Js, red bottoms, etc.
“No, I want a wife that fuck me like a prostitute.”
“Surrounded by Warhols my whole team ball.”
“Riccardo Tisci Givenchy clothes.”
“Vogueing on these niggas.”
“Champagne on my breath, Yes.”
“I’m still the man to watch, Hublot on my left hand or not.”
“I’m the modern day Pablo Picasso, baby.”
WHO WILL ABUSE THIS: You know the type…They started wearing button downs when Jay said so, constantly captioned “What’s that jacket, Margiela?” and now they will let your know when they purchase their Tom Ford.
“It’s fuck all y’all season.”
“Spent all my euros on tuxes and weird clothes I party with weirdoes.”
“I don’t pop molly, I rock Tom Ford.”
“Numbers don’t lie, check the scoreboard.”
“Fuck hashtags and retweets, nigga 140 characters in these streets, nigga.”
WHO WILL ABUSE THIS: Sorry… but mark my text, this will be the hood boys on Instagram’s anthem.
“Fuck with me, you know I got it.”
“Sexy bitch I hope she ’bout it.”
“Shopping bags, I’m a tourist, nigga”
“Money talk I speak fluent, nigga”
“I don’t bop, I do the money dance.”
“Got a bad bitch, she a masterpiece.”
WHO WILL ABUSE THIS: Those who were heavy on the Yeezus quotes will be the very ones getting social with the lyrics from what Jay called his favorite track from the album. The insightful ones who renovated their life and are now trying to build #alltruth.
“I hope my black skin don’t dirt this white tuxedo.”
“Go ahead and spill some champagne in the water.”
“I don’t even like Washingtons in my pocket.”
“See me in shit you never saw.”
“If it wasn’t for these pictures they wouldn’t see me at all.”
“I crash through glass ceilings, I break through closed doors.”
“If I’mma make it to a billi I can’t take the same route.”
“In trouble waters I had to learn how to float.”
WHO WILL ABUSE THIS: The hood celeb turned Twitter celeb turned motivational Twitter tweeter who isn’t afraid to swag on ’em from tweet to tweet.
“Don’t be good my nigga, be great.”
“After that government cheese, we eating steak After the projects, now we on estates.”
“Me and destiny got a date.”
“My chain already heavy, don’t let me get a ring”
“You know I’m gon shine like a trillion watts.”
“This ain’t grey sweat suits and white tube socks.”
“This is black leather pants and a pair of Stance.”
WHO WILL ABUSE THIS: Miley Cyrus…no, seriously she has already begun.
“New blacks with new stacks.”
“Retro act, I’m just bringing it back like Jordan Packs.”
“When I was talking Instagram Last thing you wanted was your picture snapped.”
“Somewhere in America Miley Cyrus is still twerkin’”
WHO WILL ABUSE THIS: The ego-maniac who skipped mass last Sunday…and every Sunday before that. And Kanye, Kanye would quote this in all caps if he was still blogging.
“You in the presence of a king scratch that, you in the presence of a God.”
“Fear is your only God Get y’all to fear me is my only job.”
“Bitch asked if I was God Fuck I’m supposed to say no?”
“Bottom grill, I make my tooth get gold.”
“Best friends become ya enemies Niggas’ knives are double-edged”
WHO WILL ABUSE THIS: The holier than thou collegiate who claims he is a hip-hop head but only listens to Jay.
“Conspiracy theorist screaming Illuminati they can’t believe this much skill is in the human body.”
“Question religion, question it all Question existence until them questions are solved.”
“Fresh in my Easter clothes feeling like Jesus.”
“Live among the serpents Turn arenas into churches.”
“I’m a motherfucking prophet, smoke a tree of knowledge.”
PART II (ON THE RUN):
WHO WILL ABUSE THIS: The girl who changes her relationship status 3 times a week, every week, and posts “Bonnie and Clyde” lyrics under photos of her and her sometimes boo.
“Who wants that perfect love story anyway, anyway?”
“Who wants that hero love that saves the day, anyway?”
“Toast to clichés in a dark past.”
“Boy meets girl, girl perfect woman.”
“And if loving you is a crime tell me why do I bring out the best in you.”
“I will hold your heart and your gun.”
“My baby momma harder than a lot of you niggas.”
“Blind me baby with your neon lights.”
“Ray Bans on, police in sight.”
“If you go to heaven and they bring me to hell just sneak out and meet me, bring a box of L’s”
“She fell in love with the bad guy, the bad guy.”
BEACH IS BETTER:
WHO WILL ABUSE THIS: Every single man in America as he twiddles on his cellphone waiting for his woman to get her hair right.
“Girl why you never ready? For as long as you took you better look like Halle Berry or Beyoncé. Shit then we getting married.”
“I’m buying bucket after bucket, When it’s gone I’m like fuck it.”
WHO WILL ABUSE THIS: Nas fans who won’t admit that a collaboration like this should have been a classic.
“My whole life is leisure.”
“Gangsta lean like the Pisa.”
“Windows tinted white girl all in it Britney, bitch.”
“Your life is illegal when your chain can get the RICO”
JAY Z BLUE
WHO WILL ABUSE THIS: The man who is already posting struggle statuses about custody battles and has exactly one photo of his child on all collective social platforms.
“Daddy need at least three weeks in the Hamptons.”
“High on life I could die from the fall.”
“And I know I’m not perfect baby I been through so much trauma.”
“This relationship shit is complicated.”
“All I know is we ain’t speaking everyday I fucking hate it.”
WHO WILL ABUSE THIS: This will be the source for all captions that replace “Clique” lyrics.
“What you think WE wearing black for? Ready for that war.”
“Head of the family. All my niggas bosses though.”
“Tell these niggas pull their fuckin’ skirt down. I could see their ovaries.”
NICKELS AND DIMES:
WHO WILL ABUSE THIS: Everyone. This song pretty much encompasses what the grind stands for, so expect this to be your Monday morning motivation tweet source.
“Got a thing for nickel plated nines and pretty dimes.”
“Between beauty and beast, I walk the line.”
“Something ’bout the struggle so divine, this sort of love is hard to define.”
“I love my niggas more than my own blood. I die for my niggas and I love my cub, hope that’s not fucked up.”
“You don’t know all the shit I do for the homies.”
“Turn nickels to dime, turn dimes to quarters turn wives from daughters, oh, I’m clear as water.”
“And when a nigga go as the old adage go. You die rich or you die disgraced, so just let me grow”
BABY BLUE IVY BONUS!
We also rounded up just about every reference Jay made to Blue Ivy on the album, we were listening so why not, right?
“Blue told me remind you niggas.”
“Can’t even take my daughter for a walk.”
“Yellow Basquiat in my kitchen corner Go ahead lean on that shit Blue You own it.”
“Niggas even talk about your baby crazy.”
“My baby getting chubby. Cue that Stevie Wonder music, aww isn’t she lovely.”
“Nothing could prepare us for the beauty that you be Blue be.”
“Now I got my own daughter taught her how to take her first steps, cut the cord watch her take her first breath.”
“I die for my niggas and I love my cub, hope that’s not fucked up.”
“Can’t see it taking food out my little monster’s mouth.”
Blue was getting a hefty amount of proud papa love!