Don't Be A Gold-digger!

Just a few months ago the topic #perfectwoman was trending on Twitter.  I joined in the fun for a laugh, describing my #perfectman as someone with the intellect of President Obama, the swag of Jay-Z and Gandhi’s kind heart.  Many of my female followers RT’d in agreement.We all dream about meeting Mr. Right, but how many of us spend less time thinking about that special man’s character and more time thinking about his wallet…hoping to find that that baller/artist/CEO who can whisk us away and introduce us to a better life?  In fact, some of us place more emphasis on finding a partner who’s reached success than we do on finding our own success. Granted, some women have grown up being hounded by parents to find that nice but wealthy young man to procreate with.   I certainly don’t believe there is anything wrong with wanting to be with someone who’s ambitious and doing well in life but I do believe it’s in our best interests to hold ourselves to those same expectations.Growing up, I’m thankful my mum never pressured me, or my sister, to get hitched and pop out grandkids ASAP.  Instead, she drummed into our heads the importance of an education and building a career to ensure we had the one thing she considered essential - financial independence.   Love doesn’t always last, she’s cautioned.  We all know the risk that that great man, who may promise to take care of you in sickness and in health, might not live up to his word…sometimes he can’t and sometimes he just won’t.  So I always put most of my focus on getting good grades in class and figuring out what kind of career would make me happy, rather than what kind of man would.  I’ve even given up one or two boyfriends that I loved in the process.   One of the toughest things I ever had to do was leave my first love behind in England when I was offered the chance to attend school in America.  I just couldn’t say ‘no’ to the chance of a brighter future.  Of course I cried non-stop for a week but looking back it was the best move I ever could have made.  My life would have turned out very differently if I hadn’t.    Establishing a good career for yourself can actually introduce you to new realms of possibilities when it comes to men.  You’ll probably get to meet some great guys through work…I know I have.   Plus a lot of men prefer a woman with their own thing going on.  It builds confidence, which is undoubtedly a man-magnet – think Neyo “Miss Independent”.