We have an intern over here (Shawn Gamez) at GlobalGrind who has the unfortunate luck of being forced into going to events with open bar, free hors d’oeuvre and the occasional model.
For those that are jealous, cruel trickery befalls him on a regular basis because for some reason his name is suppose to be on the list so he can cover the event – but it isn’t on the guest list, or the press list or the male escort list. Figures.
It’s a good thing he read the editors minds and didn’t call them at home for advice. He did the next big thing though: he became resourceful. He gave us a rundown on how to get into parties when your name is not on the list so you can sneak into those Victoria Secret Fashion Show 2011 after parties.
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by Shawn Gamez
Alright this is mostly directly towards the fella’s out there because, well, I do have male genitalia and females use completely different tactics that involve body parts that I don’t own or care to own.
Arrive about half-way through the event. Your victim will have already been worn down by the brunt of the guests that were to show up.
First off, you need some swagger with small adjustments. The thing you’ll need to remember when hitting up private events is most of the girls working the doors are interns or assistants. They don’t like a*ssholes because their bosses are life time members of the evil-doer club. Oh, it does exist.
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Tone down the tough guy bravado, you’re looking for the nice, confident businessmen that has a little bit of a secret and the door girl just doesn’t know what that secret is but she wants to find out and the only way to find out is for her to let you into the party and maybe have sex with you against the wall while her boss is blaring in her headset trying to find out where she is.
Pay attention to the inflection in your voice you want it to be like a lullaby that will take away all of the stress of the giant dick head that came before you. Have your drivers license ready and tell her you like to make your communication easier by having her see your license instead of guessing the spelling of your last name.
Handing her the license will also bring you closer to the list and you’ll be able to read some of the names off the list. If you came unprepared with names to drop you can pull off one from the list.
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Door girls are easily intimidated by nice so when she tells you your name isn’t on the list make sure she feels like it isn’t her fault. Make your face look like you’re trying to ask yourself a question and say small comments like ‘hmm, that’s strange, let me see if i can get a hold of someone on the inside.’ Say Thank you and ask for their name. Take a step away and act like you’re making a phone call or actually call someone.
Come back and break the bad news to her gently, you can’t get a hold of anyone. Apologize for the inconvenience and politely ask her if she could check the name again – show I.D.
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This is where planning ahead comes into play. Do your homework and know eve
