Hello Global Grind Fam!!!!

It's been a minute since I have blogged on here and since my last blog, if you search back, A LOT has happened in my life and I don't mean that in just a good type of happen, but just overall....A LOT HAS HAPPENED IN MY LIFE!  As we all know, my loving Fiance, Casey Johnson has passed away right before we were about to get married, however I REFUSE to speak of her ever again in the media.  She is now locked deep in my heart forever and I refuse to talk about it any further, so will all do respect, please let her rest in peace and let my heart rest in peace and let us both be.  Thank you.

Now let's get on to the other stuff poppin; off in my life,  So many things have changed within me this past year!  I truly believe that 2009 was a very challenging and testing year for me.  I went through Domestic Violence Abuse, to losing my wife, and now.....I am carrying a child, and going through ALL of these traumatic and emotional things in the media is not something ANYONE would be able to withstand, however, I have grown to be even ore of a stronger person because of it. Now that I look back, in 2009, I see myself now, that I was still only a little girl lost, strong, yet still trying to find herself.  However the WOMAN, that I have grown up to be TODAY is someone you would NOT recognize at all!

I have changed so much as a person and my perspectives on life.  Before I really had nothing to live for and because of that, I felt like I had nothing to lose  I didn't care about anything.  I would have late night random inapropriate Ustream shows, my stripteasses, etc.  However that little girl named Tila Tequila is LONG GONE!  Ever since I found out I was pregnant, and this was no accident I have been planning this for a long time, my whole outlook on life has changed.  NOW I actually have something to live for.  NOW all the work that I do has meaning behind it because NOW I have a baby to look after and everything I do from this point forward will reflect on my baby and I know for a fact that I will be the greatest mother in the world!!!!!!  Aside from being pregnant, It feel such a strong connection to my baby that I have reached out to a very good friend of mine, who is an ambassador.  I told him that I wanted to adopt another child, a boy, about 2-3 years of age from Africa.  Well first I told him Haiti, but then he told me that Haiti was no longer allowing adoptions, which I think is sad because I think there are SO many babies and children out there who would love to get away from a run down 3rd world country to live in a home that is full of LOVE and where they will always feel safe.

Growing up I never really had a REAL family to call my own.  Yes I have family of blood, but that doesn't mean I consider them my family for we have all been estranged for a very long time.  That being said, that is the reason why I was SOOOOOOO excited to start a new family of my own with Casey. She never had a real family either since she was also estranged from them, so with that her and I immediately bonded. I love Casey and will always love her but that is for me to keep to myself and my babies.

Now let's get to the Twitter thing.  I was the #1 most looked after on Twitter.  I was always the top 5 list on twitter who were the most influential people on Twitter. So if I had such a great ground and influence on Twitter, why in the hell would I delete it you say?? Well like I said, I have become a different WOMAN TODAY!  Back then people can talk all the sh*t they want about me and i will either ignore it, or go INNN on people.  Now, I see people talking sh*t about my unborn child and to me, that is not something I shall tolerate.  Nor will I let those mean words upset me because I know my baby can feel everything I feel.  So with that said, I deleted my twitter.  It was just such a negative place and I'm not the ONLY celeb who deleted their twitter page just like Miley Cyrus and Chris Brown and then me.  On top of that, the media would follow every tweet I make and blog about it, turning it all into a negative story and twisting all of my words around.  I had enough. So I deleted my Twitter page.  People said that I was just an attenion whore, blah blah, same sh*t.  But really I also did that to prove to them that Im not an attention whore. I DONT NEED TWITTER to get attention.  I have huge projects right now and that's what I have been doing all this time.  Running my record label "TILA TEQUILA RECORDS" to which the first artist I signed is RAZ B from B2K.  I also just opened up my own Management firm "LITTLE MISS TRENDSETTER MANAGEMENT LLC"

The reason why I am doing all this  is to prepare for when my baby comes  I did this ALL FOR MY CHILDREN AND NOT FOR MYSELF!  I wanted to make SURE, that when I have a baby, that It would be a time where I wouldn't have to work so much or worry about income and raise my children.  yes it will be hard to be a single mother raising all of these kids by myself, but it's so worth it!

I know what you're all thinking, "THIS DOES NOT SOUND LIKE THE TILA TEQUILA THAT WE ARE USED TO!" and you know what? You are absolutely correct.  I am a real WOMAN now, who is actually resposible, and I now have a higher meaning in life to live and give alll the love that I never got as a child to my children.  I know the public won't immediately believe me or accept that what I say is true, but I'm not worried about it cuz only time will tell.  Besides, my children are my #1 priority now, and no longer what the media thinks of me and so and so.

So yes, I deleted my Twitter page because now that I am pregnant, I will not tolerate disgusting and rude comments people are making to a beautiful unborn child given to me by GOD.  That is just not acceptable to me, so with a click of a button.  I deleted it.

Of course about 4 days later I have returned to twitter @officalTila only due to the fact that I will no longer be on there to talk about my personal life so that leaves a door for random haters to get inside my personal biz, but to merely keep in touch with my fans and promote all the cool new projects I have coming up, and also to keep you all posted on how I'm doing and how the baby is doing!!!

With that said, say goodbye to Tila Tequila and say Hello to Ms Nguyen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Lots more to come in 2010 so stay tuned.  Actions speak louder than words so I will just let time do its work and you will all see for yourself.  Plus, I can't wait til my baby comes out!!!  I hope it's a boy cuz I've always wanted a son that's a "MAMA'S BOY" however no matter what gender I get, I will love them regardless!!!!!!  All I know is, my children is going to have the BEST mother!  I planned my whole life out just for my children believe it or not! I was just waiting for the right time to bring them into this world so that I have all the time in the world to spend with my kids and not have to worry about work or anything else except for them.  Just in case you're wondering, my baby is of mixed ethnicity: Vietnamese/French and African Amercian.  They are going to be SOOOOOOOO BEAUTIFUL!  I can't wait for the world to see how beautiful my baby will be!  I am going to be a very strict mother, but only due to tough love.

Anyway, so yes, I am now back on Twitter, I am an attention whore, and if you would like to follow me as I document my life, please follow me at @OfficialTila

Love
Ms. Nguyen

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To Read Tila's Past Blogs On GlobalGrind, CLICK HERE