FINDLAY,OH—The entire office staff of Altman & Hanson Accounting remained utterly baffled as to what, if anything, should be done in response to the prominent sobbing coming from the cubicle of 36-year-old clerk Jack Underwood, sources reported today.
From: www.theonion.com
FINDLAY, OH—The entire office staff of Altman & Hanson Accounting remained utterly baffled as to what, if anything, should be done in response to the prominent sobbing coming from the cubicle of 36-year-old clerk Jack Underwood, sources reported today.
Underwood, who has been employed by the accounting firm since 2004, reportedly began weeping sometime after 10:15 a.m. and has not shown any indication of stopping.
"He's just in there crying and crying—what are we supposed to do?" said coworker David Hammond, who was not aware of any medical or emotional issues Underwood might have. "At first I thought there might be an-other round of layoffs coming, but [office manager] Sophie told me that wasn't the case, so at least I know that whatever the sobbing is about, it doesn't affect me."
Other staff members were also at a loss as to how to approach the crying man. Junior partner Russell Hanson told reporters that he had "absolutely no clue" what to say to Underwood and decided to ask administrative assistant Emily Koe to go talk to the tearful coworker, seeing as she is "a woman and all."
"I really would, but I just don't know him well enough," said Koe, who has worked with Underwood for more than four years. "Someone should call his wife. If he has one."