PESHTIGO, WI--After a lifetime of assiduously avoiding the use of foul language, Helen Chernak, 59, is finally learning to swear, her delighted offspring reported Monday.
From: www.theonion.com
PESHTIGO, WI—After a lifetime of assiduously avoiding the use of foul language, Helen Chernak, 59, is finally learning to swear, her delighted offspring reported Monday.
"I was at Mom's this weekend, and the cat knocked something over," said Michael Chernak, 34, Helen's eldest child. "Mom shakes her little fist and says, 'Damn it, Felix! Get down from there, you little shit.' I was like, 'Where did that come from?' It was so wild."
"When we were growing up, Mom never used any bad words at all," Julie said. "If she wanted to say shit, she'd say 'sugar' instead. We'd tell her that if she wanted to say the dirty word, she should just say it. But she'd always refuse, saying she was 'a firm believer in using sugar substitutes.'"
Julie said she first heard her mother swear during a Jan. 23 trip with her to the neighborhood IGA grocery store. The pair encountered a cashier who allegedly rolled her eyes and muttered under her breath when the elder Chernak handed her a stack of coupons.
"We got out to the car and Mom said, 'I have no idea why that checkout lady had to be such a darn bitch,'" Julie said. "Isn't that so great? God, I love it."