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Madame Katie's Blog: May Astrology

Posted by: Katie Rost 5/2/2009 | 1,697 Views

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The Universal Mind has broken down for moi, Madame Katie Rost what you can expect life to bring to you for the month of May 2009.

We are in the month of Taurus. The symbol typically used for the months is the bull and like the bull Taurus is stubborn and solid.
All people of all signs will feel the pull of Taurus this month. The challenge for all signs during the month of May is to use the strong stoic energy of the month to the particulars of your nature.
Lets begin!

May 2009 Horoscopes

Aries: March 21 - April 19
Fiery Aries! This is a great month to make solid plans because Mars is in your chart, making you stronger and even more passionate than usual. You will be an absolute animal in the sack (aren’t you always?!). Hold off on signing any contracts until next month because Mercury is retrograde and means setbacks. Keep yourself free of commitments, but start using all that extra energy to hit the gym and layout a plan of attack for your inevitable world domination. (Oh, and you will have lots of sex.)

Taurus: Apr 20 - May 20
Stuck in your ways Taurus! You are going to have a beautiful birthday month that involves fun, romance and lots of silly playtime with family and friends. You were hoping to power ahead this month with some bold entrepreneurial plans, but Mercury retrograde will cause some business partners to be a bit slower than you. Be patient with them and use the time to perfect your vision and allow others to catch up. If you are in a relationship, now is the time to make it official and be bold with your intentions. Don’t worry, he/she feels the same way! (Oh, and you will have lots of sex.)

Gemini: May 21 - June 20
Sexy Gemini! Mars AND Venus are in your house of fun this month, which means you need to pull out the numbers of all spankable lovers and be ready with a bottle of Patron and massage oil. You (yes, both of your personalities) are ready for good times with easygoing people. From BBQ’s, to outdoor activities and adventure to dancing your butt off all night at the club—just have fun and don’t bother working too hard at anything but pleasure this month. (Oh, and you will have lots of sex.)

Cancer: June 21 - July 22
Crazy Cancer! This is a breakthrough month for you…. You will be interviewing and hustling to advance your career in May. Be ready to break yourself out of the rut you were in last month. Get out and talk to people! Socializing will do you a world of good. True love has finally found its way directly to your siren song and you can count on a solid relationship to support you. May will be full of love and the blossoming of a whole new you. (Oh, and you will have lots of sex.)

Leo: July 23 - Aug 22
Leo the Lion! You are going to thrive in your career and business this month. All of your excitement over a project will start to blossom in tangible ways in May. Some exciting talks with VIP’s and people who can support your dreams will come together beautifully. You will hit the creative and power zone that perfectly supports you. (Oh, and you will have lots of sex.)

Virgo: Aug 23 - Sept 22
Beautiful Virgo! You are all about the Benjamin’s right now. This month the theme of is money, money, money and its center court in your life. You need the steady day job to finance your dreams so be patient and keep your eye this month on increasing your value in your career because that’s what will make the surf shop in Costa Rica or studio time for your band possible in the future. Get to the gym more Virgo! You need to get that beach body poppin off before its June and you are invited to that pool party with the hot girl/guy you’ve been crushing over. Remember, at least 30 minutes of cardio 4 days a week will make a world of difference for you body and your mood. (Oh, and you will have lots of sex.)

Libra: Sept 23 - Oct 22
Lovable Libra! Its time to make some decisions about your home situation. If you aren’t happy, start looking for something new. If you need to redecorate, pick up some home design magazines or keep your eye out for the next look to represent the current you. May is the perfect time to start contemplating how you can refresh your home life. It looks like you are either bored in your relationship or you haven’t found the right mate. Its time to take a trip and get a fire started under your love life. You always do well on these little adventures. You are sure to find romance and/or restart the one you already have. (Oh, and you will have lots of sex.)

Scorpio: Oct 23 - Nov 21
Sensual Scorpio! You are a delicious treat and you know it. Stop the brooding over what you don’t have and start getting excited for everything you are blessed with and all of the success on its way to you. You will get some exciting career news in May that proves that you are a necessary asset to the people who work with you. The only problem is that appreciation doesn’t always translate to dollar bills. But keep your head up because June will prove lucrative. Enjoy the buds of spring with long romantic walks with your boo. Holding hands will spark all sorts of scandals between the sheets when you get home. (Oh, and you will have lots of sex.)

Sagittarius: Nov 22 - Dec 21
Good spirited Sagittarius! You are glowing with that natural positively even more this month. Your romantic life is going to be exceptional even though attached Sags are finding their long-term love to be kind of a yawn. That never stopped you from finding fun on your own, and this month you will find lots of it. The itch that needs to be scratched for you is travel. If you’ve got to head out on the road don’t forget your facemask, and remember that your chances of getting swine flu decrease if you make out with fewer people. Choose the lucky ones carefully you big slut! (Oh, and you will have lots of sex.)

Capricorn:   Dec 22 - Jan 19
Nose to the grind Capricorn! Try to be calm when people who work for you or with you don’t jump as high as they should when you ask them to. No one else has your intensity and with Mercury retrograde this will be more obvious to you. Remember to encourage others and yourself as much as possible. Try going on a nature walk and actually appreciating nature rather than worrying about work. Love is right there for you, but it doesn’t exist if you aren’t paying attention. (Oh, and you will have lots of sex.)

Aquarius:   Jan 20 - Feb 18
Aquarius the Great! Looks like you are getting cozy enough with a special someone to contemplate making it a “till death do us part”. Your love life is feeling really good. If you are sure that you’ve met the one, let him/her know. This might buy you another year to not fully commit because lord knows you don’t really want to. The money problems that your friends are having are not as challenging for you. Be happy to have money somehow flowing to you and keep the flow moving by donating some to a worthwhile charitable organization. (Oh, and you will have lots of sex.)

Pisces:   Feb 19 - March 20
Creative Pisces! You are not as high as you’d like to be in May, but the lows are your secret enjoyment because it makes your ability to write poetry and create depth in every moment possible. You are going to find something out about someone you thought you knew inside and out that will hurt your feelings. Remember that by June it will seem like nothing at all. Don’t beat up on yourself for not seeing things clearly before. You should create a beautiful flower arrangement and place it someplace that you can see it everyday. Take care of YOU first, and then buy flowers for others. (Oh, and you will have lots of sex.)

- Madame Katie Rost

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16 comments

Pisces - "You are going to find something out about someone you thought you knew inside and out that will hurt your feelings"

And did I ever... but I knida knew it all along.

crowwatcher 5/17/2009 | reply
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It is… A Man of Truth

Happy that my sign (Aquarius) says my money is going to be right… And my sex is going to be just as good… This is a good time to be me…

5/4/2009 | reply
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I dunno I'm beginning to have my doubt. Shouldn't you have foreseen I'd have difficulty with my account. Because technically this isn't Shemlock speaking. Same person, but forced to use a different account because of technical difficulties on my computer. So though I've been forced to become Oma, am I 'technically' following the horoscope, or will the continuation of this pattern defeat the legitimacy of your prediction?

Oma 5/3/2009 | reply
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- sneaky sneaky boy...
  
  Katie Rost 5/4/2009 | reply
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Beautiful, thank you

Director X 5/2/2009 | reply
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Hey mami! Just celebrated my bday and am a proud "Taurus"! Thanks for the horoscopes! Luv em!

PS - hope the end of mine is true... lol!

Brandi Garcia 5/2/2009 | reply
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- Happy Happy Birthday Girlfriend.... 22 years old is awesome, im already 24 so I would know, enjoy it.
  come on! you KNOW that last prediction is a solid for you....
  
  Katie Rost 5/2/2009 | reply
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Offhand comment, but I need a place to vent. I'll presage the comment with verbiage to make it seem apropos. Here goes:

Why didn't you use your psychic/clairvoyant powers to tell FOX that the Wolverine movie sucked?

It was the weakest plot I've ever seen. I can't explain why they made him indestructible. O.K. I can explain it by method or reason of the plot itself, but what I'm saying is that reason isn't plausible. They did say something about he was the only one who could survive the procedure. I wonder if I still have my Weapon X, comics. The comics always tried to keep it a mystery. The movie should have left it so. Though heroes die. Wolverine is no longer among my heroes, so the dishonor they did him isn't held against them.

Though I'll never forgive the dishonor the writer did. I'm gonna find his name and never watch anything he's associated with. (Direction wasn't bad given such a poor script, nor the acting, but a good film has it all. Script, direction, acting, period costumes and/or special effects.)

You should use your powers for good, and inform me when I'm about to spend my money on a dumb film.

I saw to many leaps of faith. There was too much trust going round for people who were so untrustworthy.

I don't give a damn how much money Iron Man made. The only successful comic franchises are Spider Man and Batman.

5/2/2009 | reply
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Bonk a swine flu. That which does not kill me only fails but to make me stronger. I'll die or I'll come back a beast. I anticipate the latter.

BYW...horoscopes are tripe. The "Universal Mind" didn't write that, you did. You may be at times aligned with the mind, but it wasn't when writing horoscopes. Horoscopes are like stereotypes, broad generalizations. The Universal Mind yields puncticular truth. If the reconciliation or referencing of the Universal Mind allows perception and space/time then it would give a discrete or specific result and not a general. As such if you gave me a personal horoscope that was revealed to be accurate, then I'd be impressed.

I can make a horoscope for everyone, I don't need 12 zodiac signs:

You'll wake up. You'll experience things. You'll learn from your experiences or you won't. Your experiences will kill you, or they won't. If you can survive and learn your earning potential will increase. The more time spent in study and self introspection will increase your capacity to learn. Your health is a reflection of what you put in your temple. If you consume HFCS, High Fructose Corn Syrup, then you are drinking/eating mercury and lowering your health. The healthy are attractive. If you maintain health, learning ability, and high spirits then people will pick up on your high self worth and become emotionally attracted to you. If one of em get to close, bang their brains out, and they'll love you for it.

5/2/2009 | reply
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- Shemlock, I was saddened and speachless when I read this comment! You have offended the Goddess (me) with your assertion that YOU have the same powers of clairvoyancy as ME.... if lightening did not immediately strike you down it is only because I intervened on your behalf and decided to prove you wrong by taking your Pepsi challenge and making a personal prediction especially for YOU.
  
  Shemlock, I predict that in the month of May you will spend a good amount of time on Global Grind reading other people's blogs. I predict that you will comment on their blogs and that your comments will be 2 parts brilliant and 1 part totally confusing. I predict that after you've made an initial comment, you will be inspired to comment back onto your comment and sometimes those comments will consist of enough words to rival War and Peace. I predict that Katie Rost will notice how clever you are despite your often confusing mind explorations and will suggest to you that you keep grinding because you are appreciated and loved.
  (Oh and you will have lots and lots of sex)
  
  I'm sure you are amazed and a believer right now. Like the many sages who came before me, Madame Cleo, Sylvester Stallon's crazy mom etc... I am the real deal. Your offense has been forgiven. Go in peace...
  
  Katie Rost 5/2/2009 | reply
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- Why thank you incantation/personification of the divine egg/womb, i.e. the Goddess. Your mercy, concern, are appreciated.
  
  But is was either here or in an e-mail where I spoke of predictions and I said there are two types. Those whose revelation affects the outcome and those where it doesn't. Your prediction consists of the former, and therefore I can defeat it at whim. But I assume your Goddess powers knew that, and they told you my ego is such that it likes to be stoked/stroked by the mental challenge of voicing my thoughts, and therefore the probability of me not writing are zero. DAMN YOUR GOOD.
  
  Everything except the sex. I'm celibate. I wasn't writing my own horoscope. You used my recent behavior to extrapolate my up coming behavior, if we do the same with my sex life, I'll get laid in July.
  
  OK...now I don't need a horoscope...I need a psychic.
  Can you feel my vibrations? You've got 30 minutes to reply, but should I go play basketball at noon? My ankle hurts--just like I Want Revenge (horse DQ from Kentucky Derby)--and see no reason to play if the potential to further injury exists.
  
  But again drawing from my past, I can ascertain that further injury is likely. So I won't play. But I'm flat broke until Tuesday (unless I borrow from my bruva), and basketball can take my mind off of a lack of ends. So maybe I'll go after all.
  
  where are all the psychics at?
  
  [Never read War and Peace. I did read L. Ron Hubbard's "Battlefied Earth." It had a million words. Bad book, bad movie. Mission Earth (series of 10 books) was much more entertaining, but it's sarcasm wouldn't have made for a good movie. The aliens' model for human psychology were Bugs Bunny cartoons.
  
  Alert-Bulletin:
  
  Bugs Bunny no longer comes on the air. All of my nieces and nephews will grow up not knowing who bugs bunny is aside from Space Jam, which only comes on once every 5 years, so for all practical purposes Bugs Bunny is dead. Bummer.
  
  5/2/2009 | reply
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- LMAO...who are you...too funny! Bummer they KILLED BUGS BUNNY!!!!!!!!
  
  yalonda82 5/2/2009 | reply
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- Hump Hump,SNAP SNAP!! Now go in ...peace!
  
  yalonda82 5/2/2009 | reply
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- lol
  
  Director X 5/3/2009 | reply
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- A guy named Sherlock pointing out the obvious... lol
  
  Good advice though. A wise man listens to such things...
  
  Director X 5/3/2009 | reply
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BIG SLUT...LOL

Sagittarius: Nov 22 - Dec 21
Good spirited Sagittarius! You are glowing with that natural positively even more this month. Your romantic life is going to be exceptional even though attached Sags are finding their long-term love to be kind of a yawn. That never stopped you from finding fun on your own, and this month you will find lots of it. The itch that needs to be scratched for you is travel. If you’ve got to head out on the road don’t forget your facemask, and remember that your chances of getting swine flu decrease if you make out with fewer people. Choose the lucky ones carefully you big slut! (Oh, and you will have lots of sex.)

Second Neeze 5/2/2009 | reply
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