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Nicole Scherzinger might be looked upon as one of the most beautiful women today, but at one point in her career, she wasn’t thinking that of herself.

In her special with VH1’s Behind The Music, the former X-Factor judge revealed that she was bulimic while she worked with the Pussycat Dolls.

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She told VH1:

“I just hated myself. I hated myself. I really was so disgusted with myself and so embarrassed. I felt so alone. I was in a group, and I never felt so alone in my life.”

She talked about finding the courage to talk about her battle, saying:

“Yeah, I’m nervous about it. It’s embarrassing. I never spoke about it. Like I said, I never want to play a victim, and I never wanted my family to hear about things from me because I think it would break their heart, you know. I guess it was like my addiction, right? I never did drugs, but kinda doing things to myself was my addiction. It’s like when I got off stage, I was on this high, and I’d come back to my room and I’d be alone, so I would just do things. My bulimia was my addiction; hurting myself was my addiction.”

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Nicole also talked about the details of her bulimic habits around the other girls of the group:

“I did it everyday for, like, years,” Scherzinger admits. “Every time I had a second to be alone, I was doing something to myself. You get, like, blisters on your hands or scars on your hands, and I’d try to hide those. I think the girls could tell.”

Even though she’s healthy now, it’s something she will have to battle for the rest of her life and she has our support.

We’re so proud that Nicole got help and is healthy today.  Check out the video above for her brave confession.