The picture perfect Beyonce is opening up to her fans about all of her mistakes.
In her documentary which airs Feburary 16 on HBO, the "I Was Here" singer opens up like in a way we've never seen from her before. At her Super Bowl Halftime press conference yesterday she said:
"I am so nervous about putting that out. It was really interesting directing and editing myself and seeing all the mistakes I've made. But still putting it in the film."
Beyonc is finally putting it all out there, even opening up about what the difficult time of her life: her miscarriage.
"About two years ago, I was pregnant for the first time," the Grammy winner says in one scene. "And I heard the heartbeat, which was the most beautiful music I ever heard in my life." She and Jay-Z were naturally overjoyed about their baby-to-be. "I picked out names," Beyonce recalls. "I envisioned what my child would look like . . . I was feeling very maternal."
I flew back to New York to get my check up -- and no heartbeat," she says. "Literally the week before I went to the doctor, everything was fine, but there was no heartbeat."
The empathetic hearts of Beyonce Stans all over the world dropped and shattered into a million pieces.
I have to commend Beyonce for being able to withstand the chatter that she faked her pregnancy. Looking back, now knowing of the miscarriage, it is even more heartbreaking to understand.
We're lucky Beyonce didn't crack.
Women who experience a miscarriage feel a rollercoaster of emotions including numbness, disbelief, anger, guilt, sadness, depression, and difficulty concentrating.
Yet she didn't miss a beat. And, a woman who has suffered a miscarriage goes through a number of steps before they reach acceptance. Shock. Denial. Anger. Guilt. Depression. Then acceptance. Is this what Beyonce's year off consisted off?
Her time off was her time off, but she came back better than ever. While most of us will have to wait until the documentary to catch a glimpse of what her life was like, we know a few things. She started over and delivered Blue Ivy Carter.
She is now a mother, she's a new person and she's sharing more than ever. We might not ever know what she feels inside but one thing is for sure, we will know that she was here!
Blue Ivy is her legacy, her music will be her legend. She is the blueprint for what women should be.
Xilla is the Sr. Entertainment Editor for GlobalGrind.com as well as CEO of the number 1 relationship blog BlogXilla.com/M2TB.com. He has been featured in XXL, The Source, Essence, LA Times and is considered one of the premiere bloggers in the industry. Follow him on twitter @BlogXilla