GlobalGrind’s financial coach and author of Living Beyond Check to Monday: A Spiritual Path to Wealth and Prosperity, Lynn Richardson, shares her views on how the ladies can manage two seemingly difficult areas of their lives: men and money.
This weekend at the Circle of Sisters Expo in New York City on Saturday October 6th, I will have the privilege of moderating a panel where MC Lyte, Jacque Reid and Alesha Renee will share their views on men and money in a convention center full of women trying to get to the next level. Next week, I will share their thoughts, but today, I am offering a few words of wisdom. Let’s see if my views and their views will line up or if there will be a clash of the titans!
1. Should a woman look for a man who makes more money than she?
My thoughts are ABSOLUTELY NOT. What does money have to do with love, respect, and honesty? More importantly, if money – the man’s money in particular -- makes the relationship better, then why are there so many rich people who are getting divorced and in unhappy relationships? Sure, many of us as women grew up with the dream that we would marry a knight in shining armor who would protect us, take care of us, and purchase the biggest house he could find so we could raise our kids behind a white picket fence, but the truth of the matter is this: if you’re waiting on a man who has a bigger paycheck than you, you may be waiting forever! Now don’t get me wrong, a man who doesn’t work won’t eat in my house, but whether or not his paycheck is bigger than mine is less important than knowing I have a lifelong partner who has my back, who loves, protects and respects me, and who shares my values and goals for the future.
2. Should a woman date or marry a guy who has bad credit?
If everything else is intact, I mean if he’s clean, loving, respectful, hardworking and honest, I don’t think you should kick him to the curb JUST because his credit is bad. Address the situation, work on a plan together, and be sure that none of his past debts will become your liability in the event of marriage. Now, for child support that’s a whole ‘nother story, but even in this instance, if your man has a child support obligation, don’t automatically send the relationship to doom. It will be more important in this situation than almost any other to ensure that you have a workable financial plan that will allow the two of you to achieve your lifetime goals.
3. Should a woman put her name on all of the items purchased (house, car, etc.) with her man?
I have to be honest, my grandmother raised me and she always told me when it comes to a man and money, “what’s his is yours and what’s yours is yours!” But with all due respect – I love my granny!! -- my grandmother hasn’t had a husband for over 60 years and after experiencing HAPPILY married for 17 years and counting to the man whom I know was created just for me, I can honestly say that has not been my mentality. We share everything. He still cashes his check and gives it to me to manage our household – he unfortunately did it when I was mismanaging things and living check to Monday, but that’s a whole ‘nother story! Now, when it comes to putting both of our names on everything, I don’t think it’s necessary or wise. If both names are on everything and you meet a financial setback, then everybody is going down. But if certain items are in one or the other’s names, you can strategically decide what you will let go and still keep one person’s credit and financial status in tact so you can continue to rebuild as a couple.
Well, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it! For the next three weeks, I will share what the celebrities have to say about these and other questions about men and money. In the meantime, join me, MC Lyte, Jacque Reid, and Alesha Renee this Saturday at 9:30am at the Circle of Sisters Expo in New York City: www.circleofsisters.com.