Words like mutiny, delusion, anarchy, hell, murderous, savage, and exhausted have all been used to describe the highly publicized Rihanna “777” tour.
NEW MUSIC: Rihanna & Chris Brown “Nobody’s Business”
The queen of sophisti-ratchet and her people came up with the bright idea to bring 200+ journalists, production staff, label reps, and fans on a seven country tour, flying on a Boeing 777 plane, traveling 14,000 miles across the world for seven straight days, all in celebration of her seventh studio album.
Sounds like a phucking blast, right?
Wrong.
The majority of journalists are ready drop the primary and secondary 7’s from “777” and replace them with 0’s to perform a 007 James Bond Skyfall stunt out of the plane to the nearest place of civility.
Although their delirium is quite entertaining, when you think about being jetlagged for seven days straight, hungry, sleep deprived, and virtually Rihanna-less, being apart of the “chosen ones” seems to be the ultimate curse – not a glorious gift.
Soo-Young Kim of Complex has tweeted that she felt like “crying,” and our own Nicole Spence is coping, but in her words, she’s going “crazy.”
With day six in full swing, journalists and fans have come to the sad realization that Rihanna’s not coming out to play, nor does she give a phuck, and she’s not sorry (hence Unapologetic album title and overall theme of her “777” tour).
GlobalGrind has been thinking, what in the world is Rihanna doing on that Boeing 777?
Is she smoking?
Or wait, maybe she’s already penning her eighth studio album?
No, no, she’s probably sleeping.
No one seems to know what Rihanna is doing, besides being late to every show and not giving a f*ck, so GlobalGrind decided to round up a few things we think RiRi is doing while leaving the rest of the plane in a fit of chaos.
1. 888– It’s possible that RiRi is M.I.A. from the “777” #RihannaPlane, because she’s writing her eighth studio album, “Still Unapologetic, Still Don’t Give A Phuck” and planning the “888” tour.
2. She’s plotting on her next trendsetting hair style– Over the past few years, Rihanna’s hair has been every hue of the primary color spectrum, it’s quite possible she doesn’t have time to mingle with the journalists because she has to decide between Wet ‘N Wavy and Virgin Remy.
3. Chrianna Skype Session– We may be pushing it, but this isn’t totally out of the question. It’s quite possible Rihanna could be Skyping Chris during all of her free time.
4. Boozing it up– Rihanna has two songs titled “Drink To That” and “Drunk On Love.” The simplest assessment is that RiRi is spending her free time drunk.
5. Smoking more blunts than Wiz Khalifa– When RiRi isn’t chugging ignorant water, she’s chiefing like a Seminole. The “Diamonds” singer already tweeted a picture of herself topless and smoking. Her naked chiefing session is more than likely a nightly ritual.
6. Busy being naked– Rihanna loves being naked just as much as she loves her music. Getting naked is time consuming and a really good reason why she can’t prance around the aisles of the #RihannaPlane.
7. Busy at Bible study and flexin’ on Instagram– When Rihanna’s not taking sexy pictures of herself and posting them on Instagram, she’s digging in the Bible looking for a nice scripture to post. RiRi’s probably busy being a warrior for Christ and Instagramming his beautiful creation (herself).
