Let's be real. We all have "was that racist?" moments.
How we view each other has largely been based on the history attached to our early interactions. And the stereotypes that came from our twisted history of race in this country only fortify those perspectives.
But in this alleged "post-racial" world, which really is full of some hybrid of good racism and feigned-tolerance and passed off as compliments or unity, we've somehow gotten to a point where nothing is really racist...especially if you put any of these variations in front or behind of your pretty damn racist statement:
"I'm totally not racist...I'm not racist but...That's not racist, right..."
No asshole. It is. And if you say any of these things below, it's official...you're kind of a racist.
At a party and trying to make a joke? Did something cross your mind but you're not sure if it would be offensive to say? Just making a comment in general? Here's a guide to steering clear of all that shit that's racist or just plain offensive.
I feel horrible even typing that out, but those who do that super offensive pulling of the eyes to look Asian know exactly what I'm talking about. It's not funny. It's not amusing. And it's damn rude. So next time you want to mock Asians and pull at your eyes to make them smaller...do me a favor and DON'T!
Do we even have to discuss this? Like, seriously, it's not fucking rocket science. If you're not black, don't paint your face to be black. Then, don't dress like an idiot with baggy pants to drive home the point that you dressed like a black man. People still haven't learned that every time you dress up like you're black, you're going to end up apologizing. Just save yourself the trouble and maybe even an ass whoopin' and stop with the fuckery. Thanks.
I get it, you think it's funny to sound like Apu from The Simpsons. Or Miss Swan from MADtv. But it's kind of offensive. That even goes for the "yo yo yo's" that have somehow become synonymous with black people. We don't even talk like that! Long story short...no mockery or imitation of any kind. You sound like an idiot.
"I'm not racist, I have a black friend..."
That's nice. You have one black friend. So you can say the n-word and "sistah girl" and all those other things that you think we say to each other. Please, have a seat. And speaking of which...
"My Brother! My Sistah! My Homie! CP Time!"
I know most of the time you mean well. But we can relate to each other without the over-the-top greetings. Trust. A simple hello will do.
"We're acting soooo ghetto!" I'm just going to assume you know where the word "ghetto" came from. Because it doesn't mean what you think it means. First of all, it's not an adjective, and secondly, it's an impoverished urban area, so if you're using it, you're probably a classist too. But for the sake of this argument, using the word ghetto in America means a whole bunch of shit associated to...oh, and I'll use a new word here...."ratchet" black people shit. So please...let's just retire this word like yesterday. And take "ratchet" with you.
"Dressing like Hitler"
Speaking of where the word "ghetto" came from, it is absolutely not OK to dress like Hitler! Or joke about concentration camps. Just. Don't. Do. It.
"Thinking all Middle Easterners are terrorists"
Or any Indians or Muslims for that matter. And also...it's "air-rib." Not "aye-rab." Phonetics for that ass.
"Starting a sentence with "My white friend," "My black friend," "My (insert race) friend."
This may not be racist, but the shit sure is annoying. Is knowing your friend's race an integral part of this story? Will it help me better understand how your weekend went because you were with your "black" friend? Any conversation that emphasizes race unnecessarily is questionable and it makes me uncomfortable. Not full-racist...but stop the shit.
Black people are good in sports. Asians are smart. White people are rich.
If you've never said any one of these...you're lying. I'll admit, these have slipped out of my own mouth from time to time. And while they may sound positive, they are still stereotypes that new age racists say all the time to distinguish ourselves from one another. At the end of the day we're still fostering some form of separatism and it's never about that. There might be truth to some of these, but let's just get rid of all this stereotypical shit, that way no one will be singled out or offended.
And while about half of this list doesn't really make you a "racist" per se, it makes you an idiot.
So next time you're considering saying or doing something that might be halfway racist, do us all a favor and don't. Otherwise, you'll end up looking like this guy. A fucking douche.