Childbirth is one of the most painful experiences any human can endure, second only to losing your child. I can only imagine the pain Tameka Raymond, Ryan Glover and their families are experiencing right now. When a tragic accident, such as the incident with Kile Glover, occurs, we instinctively ask questions.
What did he do to deserve this? Why my son? Why would a God who is benevolent, omnipotent, and merciful allow an innocent child to experience such agony? Why would the same God allow such grief to befall such a beautiful family?
Whether or not you believe in God, you’re going to experience pain. It’s one of the most grotesque parts of this beautiful experience we call life. We don’t experience it so that we may fall to our knees. We go through hardships so that we can gain the strength to stand up with the world on our shoulders.
Standing up means dealing with reality and doing what is righteous, rather than what is easy. It’s easy to point a finger at a person who cursed you and your family by sending the lot into deep dejection.
Even though every muscle fiber in your body, and all of the neurons in your brain are firing telling you to point your finger, you must remember to use your heart to forgive the person responsible for your hurt.
We don’t forgive because Jesus forgave those who wronged him. We forgive for the reason Jesus forgave those who wronged him. We forgive for the same reason Martin Luther King Jr. turned the other cheek. We forgive for the same reason Gandhi starved to free India.
Vengeance is the darkness and forgiveness is the light. The light will always overpower the darkness. Go to any dark room and flip the light switch if you need proof.
When you hold animosity and resentment towards someone who you feel has wronged you in you heart, you add to the pain. That pain builds on itself everyday. That pain has lead many a great man and woman to drug use and murder. Those remedies further exacerbate what is ailing you. The only way to truly free yourself from the chains shackling you from the memories that torment your soul, is forgiving the person who caused you to experience such torment. To forgive is to set a prisoner free, that prisoner is you.
It is even more important to do so when the person wronged you unintentionally.
It’s one thing to bump a person in the subway. A simple "I apologize" will always suffice. Causing serious bodily harm to another person’s child is a completely different animal.
If a person has any sense of humanity, the hours endured by a person who has done such can only be described as melancholic. Even if the person who they accidentally harmed forgives them, it means almost nothing if they can’t forgive themselves. It’s so easy to overlook their sorrow, their pain, and their regret. We focus so much on the victims, we forget about the perpetrator’s sorrow.
Why should you do anything to make that person feel better? He tarnished the most precious gift the universe has ever delivered to your doorstep. Well, you and him are both hurting in the same place. To allow that to continue is vindictive. As I said earlier, vengeance is the darkness and forgiveness is the light. The light will always overpower the darkness.
I implore Tameka Raymond, Ryan Glover, Usher and anyone else who has experienced something similar, to forgive those who have caused you torment, and focus on the blessings you have in your life. No matter what life throws at you, you are the only person who can let your tribulations beat you down. Focus on the positives and stand tall no matter what is thrown your way.
Again, our thoughts and prayers are with Tameka Raymond, Ryan Glover, and their families.
Garvey Ashhurst is a young up and coming poet, songwriter, and blogger. He is the reason that the system is afraid of a black man in a library. His aim is not to be Martin Luther King, Malcolm X, or Ghandi, but he hopes to make them proud by keeping their ideals alive through his lifestyle. He hopes that one day young brothers will one day say I want to be the next him.