More from www.theonion.com

• Obama Weighs Options In Afghanistan

  www.theonion.com - Pressure is mounting on President Obama to make a decision on the future of Afghanistan. Here are the options currently being... view details...

  Found on: www.theonion.com 11/18/2009
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• [audio] Local Teen To Explore Own Body

  www.theonion.com - Onion Radio News - with Doyle Redland view details...

  Found on: www.theonion.com 11/17/2009
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• December Named National Awareness Month

  www.theonion.com - WASHINGTON—In an effort to combat what organizers are calling "our current epidemic of complete and utter obliviousness," the American Foundation for Paying Attention to Things has declared December view details...

  Found on: www.theonion.com 11/17/2009
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• Billboard Seems Oddly Proud Sting Will Be Playing At Foxwoods Casino

  www.theonion.com - News In Photos view details...

  Found on: www.theonion.com 11/17/2009
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• Sports: Mickey Mouse Noticeably Avoids A-Rod During Trip To Disney World

  www.theonion.com - ORLANDO, FL—Members of the Yankees couldn't help but notice that the resort's iconic mascot Mickey Mouse made a special effort to avoid Alex... view details...

  Found on: www.theonion.com 11/17/2009
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• Who Swoons Over 'New Moon'? (by Jackie Harvey)

  www.theonion.com - Item! Guess which vampire franchise is?hold on. I'm going to let you finish, but first let me say that Jackie... view details...

  Found on: www.theonion.com 11/17/2009
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• Fed Bans Debit Overdraft Fees

  www.theonion.com - The Federal Reserve is prohibiting banks from collecting overdraft fees on purchases paid with a debit card unless customers opt in to programs that... view details...

  Found on: www.theonion.com 11/17/2009
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• Report: Fiber Optics Not A Real Thing

  www.theonion.com - BOSTON—Members of the world's engineering and telecommunications communities admitted Tuesday that fiber optics, the supposed technological... view details...

  Found on: www.theonion.com 11/17/2009
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• [video] Obama's Home Teleprompter Malfunctions During Family Dinner

  www.theonion.com - Officials say the President's home teleprompter is simply a tool to make sure pillow talk with Michelle or conversations with his Mother-In-Law go smoothly. view details...

  Found on: www.theonion.com 11/16/2009
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• In Focus: Oprah Stuns Audience With Free Man Giveaway

  www.theonion.com - CHICAGO—The season premiere of The Oprah Winfrey Show unleashed a surprise for viewers Monday, when host Winfrey presented her studio audience with an unexpected gift: eligible men. view details...

  Found on: www.theonion.com 11/16/2009
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• ABC Cancels 'Hank'

  www.theonion.com - After airing five episodes, ABC has canceled the Kelsey Grammer disgraced-CEO-returns-to-small-hometown sitcom Hank. What do you... view details...

  Found on: www.theonion.com 11/16/2009
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