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Sports: Report: Yankees Trademarked 'Yankees Suck' Chant In 1996
www.theonion.com - TAMPA, FL—New York Yankees team ownership revealed Tuesday that the phrase "Yankees suck," one of the most popular chants in sports, was trademarked by the 27-time World Series champions... view details...
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[audio] Beer Makes Carpet Grow
www.theonion.com - Onion Radio News - with Doyle Redland view details...
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American Muslims To Fort Hood Shooter: 'Thanks A Lot, Asshole'
www.theonion.com - FORT HOOD, TX—Following Army psychologist Nidal Malik Hasan's shooting rampage on the Fort Hood military base last week that left 13 people... view details...
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In Focus: Steven Tyler Laid Off From Aerosmith As Band's Jobless Rate Hits 20%
www.theonion.com - BOSTON—The move is the band's most radical shift in economic policy since its experiment as a drug-trafficking cartel and a brief merger with Run-DMC. view details...
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Opinion: I'm So Blessed To Be Surrounded By People I Can Extort Money From (by Franklin Knoepke)
www.theonion.com - Everyone goes through a hard patch at some point. Even if you watch every penny, all it takes is an unexpected layoff or a sudden medical crisis,... view details...
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Obama Visiting Asia
www.theonion.com - President Barack Obama leaves for Japan Thursday, kicking off a nine-day diplomatic visit to Asia that will include four days in China. What do... view details...
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Sports: People Probably Affiliated With Hockey In Some Way Inducted In Hockey Hall Of Fame
www.theonion.com - News In Photos view details...
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H.R. 2651 Fans Storm Senate Floor After Passage Of Bill
www.theonion.com - WASHINGTON—Diehard fans of H.R. 2651 charged the floor of the Senate chamber Tuesday after their bill, a 14-vote underdog nicknamed the... view details...
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U.S. Deports Lou Dobbs
www.theonion.com - WANTAGE, NJ—Acting on anonymous tips from within the Hispanic-American community, U.S. Customs and Border Protection officials deported Luis Miguel Salvador Aguila Dominguez, who for the last 48 years view details...
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Sports: Ahmad Bradshaw Still Had Pretty Good Weekend Despite Loss To Chargers
www.theonion.com - EAST RUTHERFORD, NJ—Though the the Chargers dealt the Giants a crushing fourth consecutive loss Sunday, running back Ahmad Bradshaw admitted... view details...
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BREAKING: U.S. Deports Lou Dobbs
www.theonion.com - WANTAGE, NJ—Acting on anonymous tips from within the Hispanic-American community, U.S. Customs and Border Protection officials on Wednesday deported Luis Miguel Salvador Aguila Dominguez, who has been view details...
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