Okay, so I thought that I understood my sexuality in its entirety, and then I got a new tattoo, and was completely surprised at my reaction. Instead of gritting my teeth and baring it, or crying out in horrible pain, I moaned and panted and gasped as if I was getting it from the back MAGNUM style! It was kraaazy, and the harder I tried to control my outbursts, the louder and more pronounced they became! I couldn’t understand or explain why I sounded like I was auditioning for a VIXEN style production, and though it was a bit embarrassing, I was perplexed and intrigued more than anything else!!! The realization that pain in general was so closely tied to pleasure for me was as disturbing as it was liberating. Disturbing because our society says that anything outside of closed doors, quiet & controlled sex is frowned upon. Liberating because I have never been much of a conformist and in that moment, it kind of all made sense.
You see, when I think of my go-to-turn-on list, spanking, hair pulling, nipple biting, even choking (if done right) are mos def in the top 10. The thing is I know that I have a REAL problem with authority; always have-ask my mama!! I also know that though I don’t think I try to control the bedroom antics, I’m sure that the pushy-I’m-running-things chick inside me is pretty vocal about what I want, what turns me on, and how I NEED to my mate to make it hurt sooooo good!!! I think that most people who are in control, or at least attempt to be in control during their regular everyday existence, they enjoy the reverse role playing where they get made to feel like the subordinate or a fanatic for the forbidden. Hot wax, nipple biting, lots and lots of shocking sound bytes, sweat dripping, mirrors present…these are all incentives, almost necessities for me to really get the most out of a good “hot butt nekkid sexx”. I am also noticing that what Im most attracted to watching is not necessarily what I want to experience. Like, I have limits and lines that I draw without exception but I still enjoy pushing the envelope and getting off on the next guy/girl getting off with a whole lot of aggression, soft kisses in between, and lotsa moxie mixed in for a great experience and an AMAZING O!!!