Gina Hendrix is many things to many people.
In addition to being a well-respected matchmaker and author, she is a relationship expert who has come across almost every type of woman you can dream up.
In fact, she has encountered many types of faulty women in her career, but she wants you to stop being all of those and get a boyfriend!
In her first book, the wittily titled Stop Being a Bitch and Get a Boyfriend, Gina gives readers an honest, straight forward look at dating from her perspective, and as an esteemed matchmaker, her perspective is probably something ladies worldwide should pay attention to.
GlobalGrind had the pleasure of catching up with Gina to talk about her book, and got some precious relationship advice gems from the hilarious Gina.
Be sure to read the interview, share it with your girlfriends and chat about it over drinks. Then after that, seriously, please stop being a bitch get a boyfriend, and Gina's book!
Check out the exclusive interview below:
GlobalGrind: How the did the concept of the book come about?
Gina Hendrix: It’s a combination of what I said to myself over the years: "Gina stop being a bitch and get a boyfriend.” It also is from the girls that I seen and met that have gone out with my clients since I started my matchmaking business. You know it's not necessarily about being just a bitch, it's all the things that you turn into as soon as a man enters the picture that you like. You become crazy, needy and neurotic and it ultimately sabotages the relationship.
The title is straightforward, as is the content of your book. During the writing process did you ever feel like “Whoa, this is a lot. Let me step back.”
Yes actually, I can be very blunt. I’m a woman and we can easily be offended, especially by saying stop being a bitch. So I made sure to keep the cover funny. The cover is very funny, it’s a funny picture that draws you in, but also I was also conscious about the content. I gave it a mix between vamping it up so that it is more fun and lighthearted, and mixing it with pertinent and helpful information. It was a very fine line that I was walking the whole time.
What is the audience that you are aiming toward with this book?
I wasn’t conscious of it until after I read the book, till after I wrote it and then re-read it. Basically, I think the book was really written for any girl that hopefully wants to get a boyfriend and then get married. I really think the book is most helpful to girls who are ‘racing the baby clock,’ meaning women who are getting into their mid 30s up into the early 40s. This is for women who really want to get married and start a family. I just feel like if that is the case, and that’s you and you’re racing the baby clock, then you need to toss your wish list in the garbage and your legs in the air.
I’m kind of half-joking, but I’m not, because I’ve met a lot of women who are in their 40s and they have missed that with being too picky and neurotic. The book is really written to girls who want to get a family and have a baby and want to do that before it's too late.
What is your opinion about women having lists and qualifications when finding a man?
I think that depending on what’s on someone’s list, you need to figure out what’s going to be realistic and important for the long term. You don’t need to be 6’2 with a six-pack if you want to be a good husband and father. A lot of times as women, we gravitate to the most charismatic, funny and charming guy and they some times do not make good husbands; those are the guys that know how to work the ladies. So for girls that are in their early 30s, go for the guys that might not be that dashing and charismatic. Look for inner quality, because that’s what’s going to sustain you long term, because you actually want a guy who really wants to pursue you and be in a real genuine relationship with you.
In the book you categorize the types of bitches within the first few chapters: the all business bitch, the freaky bitch and so on, what helped you narrow down the types of bitches?
There are some I weeded out and some that are going to be in the next book. For this book, I picked the ones that I felt were most important to talk about right now. Again it’s based on my life, because I’ve been many of the bitches in the book. I base it on my own personal experiences and it goes to people I can relate, but there are particular stories and girls in there that I do know. So I was writing it for those girls that I do know personally.
Let's talk about your personal relationships; clearly you must have encountered a few situations to spike your interest in writing a book like this. What’s the craziest one?
I can just say, for example, in the book it’s a chapter called Model Bitch, and I have personally been the model bitch, which is when you met a guy who doesn’t have his act together and think you can fix him up and change him and bring him into the person you want him to be. It doesn’t work that way.
That story in the book is really almost word from word about what happened in my personal life. Of course he was cute and charming and was the surfer, the tattoo bad boy. He didn’t have a car and didn’t work but it didn’t faze me, so I tried to fix him up. He got his credit fixed and got his life fixed and he drove off into the sunset to date another girl. That’s one story. Then for the Freaky Bitch, I know a couple of those girls. I knew one girl who got really, really drunk and it was a brand new client. The first person I set her up with, she got drunk and proceeds to tell him sexual stories about other escapades with my other clients and then proceeded to sleep with him too. She actually believed that she would still date him after that.
Is there any hope for the Freaky Bitches?
Sure there is. It's just if you’re drinking too much, and you’re partying too much, and you sleep with them too soon, then you need to stop. You need to reel it in. In fact this particular girl, I did actually talk to her about it. She said ‘Guys can do it, why can’t I?’ It doesn’t work the same way. There is a double standard, unfortunately. In my business, I learned men would take advantage of women if they think they can. What I also learned in this business is if you tried to sleep with him sooner, the less that he is interested for the long term and several of my clients have told me that.
There a lot of girls that set time limits that limit when they will sleep with a guy. Do you think they are effective?
Here is what I have to say and again, I base it on my own experiences, and my experiences with others. I think that what women do, and we have all done it, we think that we can find a guy and turn him into our boyfriend and get into a relationship so we can sleep with him, and it doesn’t work that way. We sleep with him hoping to make him our boyfriend, and our feelings get hurt because we think it was a big deal to sleep with him but guys don’t see it that way. Some girls say, oh, I can sleep with a guy and no big deal. I don’t believe that and I think that you need to protect your feelings. So if your feelings are going to get hurt because he doesn’t turn into a boyfriend, you need to wait until you know you're in a real relationship with that guy.
What is the absolute best love advice you have ever been given?
Probably, stop being a bitch and get a boyfriend! I think it was a guy friend that told me that. But, I do say to the girls and the people, I am really honest and right now I am the all Business Bitch. If you want to be in your 40s and be single, then you need to follow my path. It didn’t work for me being too difficult and being too picky. I know just from my own life and from other girls that have missed the boat that you need to be nicer, got to be easy going and insane in order to get a boyfriend and to get a husband.
What can we look forward to in your next book? Stop being a bitch and get a husband?
Yeah, it will definitely stop being a bitch and get a husband and I’m going to hopefully write that one from experience. Even in my own life I have come to a point where I got my business going and it's going really well and I need to start taking my own advice and be more open minded and easy going when I date guys. Ultimately we all want love and I do too. I am finally getting to a point where I want that. Again, hopefully the next book will be based on my personal experience.
Gina Hendrix is a well-known matchmaker whose book Stop Being a Bitch and Get a Boyfriend is available for purchase at Amazon.com. She is also the founder and CEO of Exclusive Introductions, an ultra premium matchmaking service.