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I’ve been known to throw vulgarities around at people with whom I found myself engaged in conflict (a.k.a: I get wasted and talk sh*t to peeps). On occasions such as these the mind struggles to be creative.

One of my favorite insults is calling a White girl (insert slurred words): “You stupid, White, stringy haired bit*ch”.  My best friend Rachel loves it when I start throwing that one around.

The power in the phrase is not in the noting that my adversary is White. If you aren’t clever, you might take me for a hater of White women, which is dead wrong.  I love White girls.  No, I’m being crueler than that.  I’m noticing the “stringy hair”.  This is a low blow for a White girl.  They take pride in that flowing mane.  (If you don’t realize the pain that the Blonde ponytail has brought to my life, please refer back to my past Global Grind blog post for clarity

Many moons ago I came across another vulgarity assault style… the illogical un-PC slang.  This assault is the totally illogical use of a phrase that offends and incites.

Why say something obvious and common when you can confuse people and be culturally provocative by, for instance, calling an Asian police officer a “Klan member Nazi” when pulled over for speeding?

Or a calling a White police officer “An Al-Queda man who wants to put a sheet over my head!” when pulled over for talking on a cell phone when driving.

My reason for providing this vulgarity service, since people often need one, is because it makes no sense.  It allows the listener to pause in their routine– to glance up from their dizzying ticket writing boredom and entices him/her to experience an “instant awakening”.  The Nazi Asian police officer might have to consider what could have possibly caused this fairly normal looking Black lady to “get it so wrong” when she launched her assault.  There are so many good, valid, logical ways to insult someone of every race, gender, identity…. And it never fails to befuddle a listener when you illogical insult them

Since I emerged from the womb I have consciously and consistently been a troublemaker.  Many people lack the brilliance of accepting that every strong belief that shapes the “me” and the “my life story” are limitations and lies.  I am ALL that exist in the world, so to believe in the insults of any of them would only indicate that I don’t know that yet. (But that’s some existential sh*t, so let me slow my roll).

There is nothing wrong with being a Black woman who has just lost a Black man to a White woman and saying “Now he’s with that White B*tch”. Just like there is nothing wrong with pointing out after your younger husband who you wrote a book about and it turned into a very popular movie “that gay motherf*cker played me like a fool” when you find out that he’s in fact, gay.
 
There is nothing wrong with being gay and there is nothing wrong with being White.
 
I’m repulsed by hypocrisy and “controlled speech”.   I would rather say what’s rolling around in my head, “right” or “wrong”.  I’d rather YOU, do the same.  The concepts exist in the world, not just in some people. There is something wrong with pretending that none of it matters at all.  We are not living politically correct sound bites 24/7.  My dad is White.  I grew up in White neighborhoods, blah blah blah… I’m not a racist. If I’m feeling something and I notice som