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I’m 5’4” and I’m blonde. I won’t tell you how much I weigh, but I will tell you I prefer Rihanna’s curves and sex appeal over the “curves” of these white actresses I’m not going to mention. Yes, I prefer a Coke bottle to a diving board any day of the week.

PHOTOS: Bar Refaeli Sets The Maxim 100 List On Fire!

As the print magazine industry is dying, Maxim, known for their annual Hot 100 list, is sending out their year’s most famous issue and making themselves look lame and dated in the process. Four of the 100 women are black, throw in a handful of Latinas and I’m bored AF. Again. Every year. Seriously, give me something to work with. Please and thank you.

Say what you want about the toned and tight physiques of most women in Hollywood, but they’re too Plain Jane for me. Give me Nicki Minaj’s booty and I’ll be a happy camper. Give me something to work with. Please! I can’t be the only one who feels this way. Nicki got herself a Pepsi commercial, so some people with authority recognize her mass appeal. Thank God. Don’t leave me out here by myself.

PHOTOS: Hip-Pop’s Most Beautiful Women In The World

Where is the diversity in skin tone and body types? Where are the tits and ass? I know this year’s list was picked by the readers (hence Stephen Colbert’s and Lois Griffin’s presence) so I can’t send too many bad vibes over to the mag. After all, I do appreciate the fact that they even do a sexy women’s list every year, but the monochromatic bodies and lack of sex appeal does nothing for me. Nothing.

How are La La Anthony, Rihanna, Bria Murphy and Nicki Minaj THE ONLY black women on this list? Who is reading this magazine? Are we not aware of other women of color or are we just not into it?

Have you seen Joan Smalls’ perfect face? Evelyn Lozada’s bangin’ body? Kerry Washington is beau-ti-ful (and has a starring role on primetime TV, which I would assume should make her mainstream) and Angela Simmons has curves for days and sits front row at every show, at every fashion week.

No? We don’t like this? OK.

If I’m coming off as angry and bitter, it’s not on purpose. I just don’t get it. If Rima Fakih, a sexy Lebanese woman, can be crowned Miss USA and then move on to become Miss Universe, some people must think there’s beauty in color and diversity. Why can’t we keep it consistent?

Plain white diving boards are not it. Give me a Coke bottle with mixed flavors next time around and I promise to leave you alone.

Rachel Samara