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Today’s “Stories From Florida” features Floridians engaging in outlandish behavior (like stealing sausages and claiming the identity of Jesus Christ), and a woman who left her children in a hot car to drink mojitos at a bar.

We can’t make this stuff up.

Happy Hour 

Krastina Yankova Gesheva had too many mojitos at a St. Petersburg bar, which would have just been bad behavior, but sadly, she left her 8-year-old in her Mercedes Benz while she did so. Enter her upgrade to criminal behavior.

The child left the car several times and entered the bar to find his mom, but ended up back in the car.

When police arrived, a crowd had gathered and Gesheva was visibly impaired, police said. Her blood-alcohol level was 0.177, more than twice the level at which Florida law presumes impairment. The boy, who was in the back seat, was released to a guardian, police said.

Gesheva was released from police custody Monday afternoon after posting $10,500 bail. Check out more details here. [Tampa Bay Times]

Gotta Eat 

Sunday proved to be a busy day in Florida. Charles Brent McNeal, 53, was arrested for stealing two smoked sausages at a Family Dollar in Palmetto. McNeal was captured after he ran into a woman’s apartment and refused to leave her couch. He was also found with two crack pipes that tested positive for cocaine.

A search was launched to find McNeal and, according to police, he ran into someone’s apartment along 11th Street Drive West in Palmetto to hide from officers. The victim did not want McNeal in her home and yelled outside to deputies, who ran towards the apartment. Police officers found him sitting on the couch and arrested him. They later found two clear glass pipes on him with burnt brillo inside them.

Check out the charges McNeal racked up from his crimes here. [Bradenton Herald]

 I Am..a God?

A woman from Martin County decided to steal a pack of candy from a Cumberland Market store because well, she’s God.

Nancy Mullis flaunted the stolen candies in the clerk’s face and happily informed her that she was the Lord and Savior himself and could do whatever she wanted. The 52-year-old’s reign didn’t stop there.

About 4:30 p.m. the same day, deputies again encountered Mullis. This time it was after a reported disturbance at a store identified as Discount Family Dollar in the 3200 block of Southeast Dixie Highway. The owner showed the deputy where Mullis is said to have thrown stuff from the shelves onto the ground and flipped over a newspaper stand and cigarette receptacle.

Mullis, who didn’t appear to be under the influence of any drugs, was arrested for disorderly conduct. Check out some of her antics here. [Off The Beat]

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