I’m half asleep typing this so excuse any errors.
I’m at war …with myself..i have this annoying layer of fat attacking my beautiful body..ladies yall know what im talking about..the extra butter soft double muffin top, the thunderrific thighs, the goggle goggle chicken fat under your arms…THIS IS NOT CUTE but every once in a while it is possible to maybe get too comfortable at that table, too comfortable wearing those loose clothes and downright lazy…I love to cook and eat too so thats a factor for sure.
It’s quite interesting though because although im not completely satisfied with my form right now, I still think I’m like the most gorgeous thing walking..inside and out (now yall know im tired, im actually giving myself a compliment).
Here’s the funny part though.. I act ‘surprised’ every damn day that i see my new form ..like ‘OMG!! where did that come from’ for a while I thought it was cute like aww look at you getting chubby, one day i found myself rubbing my tummy as if it were my left hands new found friend, then my jeans started not fitting so i bought more, and then those stopped fitting and when i saw the size jean i had to buy I said enough is enough!!
It’s time to pull out the King Magazine pics so I know where I’m supposed to be..ya heard me! but pulling out those pics will not change anything.. so guess what?
I got my PHAT a** up and got a jumprope , and a real bicycle (that u ride outside).
The same day I went to find some sneakers and I took my nephew Zachary with me who is 15 mnths.. I’m walking through the store and we see the big pretty colored exercise balls on the wall. Out of nowhere my nephew becomes the speaking magician ‘ball, ball, ball pweeeaasse?’ he said, pointing at it..so out the store we go with sneakers and an exercise ball for him..or so I thought…
By the time we get to my family’s home I begin not to like the exercise ball very much.. why? because as soon as I step in the door with no prior intention to use the damn thing for myself or exercise .. One fam member proceeds to say ‘uh oh she has an exercise ball watchout!’, another member sais ‘girl u look good u dont need to be exercising getting all skinny and big headed, u look healthy, don’t nobody want nothing they can’t hold on too, ‘ yet another family member chimes in like a perfectly written musical ‘girl that thang ain’t goin no where its hereditary that ball is as big as your booty what you gon do booty fight with the ball?’
I’m lookin at everybody like dang ‘the ball is for Zach’ ‘he wanted the ball to play with!’ why did i say that?.. For the next 10 minutes the jokes were about how Zach saw the ball and knew I needed it because when he’s on my hip he can feel the phat…and how my brother telepathically told Zach to ask for the ball when he got to the store, and on and on and on..yes my family has jokes..constantly.
To make a long story short..I decided that..although i can’t beat myself up about being lazy, I can acknowledge it and work daily to change it. I wanna feel good , stay healthy and live longer….that means I have to take off this layer of phat..(i wanna look good in my jeans too though..I could give two Shi*s about who wants to hold what and what society says I should look like. I dont believe in the nip/tuck thang (at least thats what i say now : ). But nevertheless i have to do something..so I said all this to say..I’m in training, my trainer is mean (in a good way) and I’m in pain and tired but alas it’s not easy being PHAT Free! my friend said i should videotape one of my sessions even and post it so yall can see me breathing like i just ran a marathon on the stairmaster and sweating like a pig boxing..lolol! yeah right.. dont hold your breath…but you can wish me luck! and if you are feeling me ladies go on and get that jumprope