October 27th marked the 110th birthday of the New York City subway system.
Anyone living on the G line knows the antiquated cars and terrible wait times feel more like 376- years-old, but hey, who’s counting?
The point is, since 1904, the subway system has been an unprecedented engineering feat that opened up worlds and opportunities to New Yorkers living in the five boroughs. It does not, however, come without a price.
The delays. The crowded trains. The funny smells. The dirty cars. NYC Subway, you’re too old for this shit. It’s time to get your life together on this here birthday. But remember, we still love you for numerous reasons.
So yes, you still deserve all the birthday tweets:
The NYC subway system is 110 years old. In honor of that I’d like to give the #MTA a warm fuck you. Without you I’d get everywhere on time.
— Dalia Rodriguez (@WhoInvitedDalia) October 27, 2014
Because you’re full of surprises:
7 train, why you no run? #mtafail
— Diana (@dathonva) October 27, 2014
No really, all the surprises:
— Jamie Caryn (@JamieCaryn) October 23, 2014
And we can always rely on you for a game of “Guess That Smell:”
— Barrie Avery (@Skybladeace) October 22, 2014
And your riders, well, aren’t they the sweetest:
Unless you’re pregnant, bleeding or older then 65, it’s NEVER appropriate to ask someone if you can have their seat on the subway. #MTA
— Sean Joseph Zepps (@SeanJosephNYC) October 28, 2014
And they make even the most serious of situations fun:
— Dawn (@Dawni2) October 28, 2014
Taking the subway is like a big human hug, every rush hour:
— Sarah Champ (@SarahEChamp) October 28, 2014
And we’re always reminded to be thankful for what we have:
— Lance Herrington (@lancerx78) October 28, 2014
But hey, sometimes you mess up:
Sometimes the universe just wants to fuck with you, or the #MTA they’re assholes too
— セレナ☆ ハタノ (@shortangryncute) October 28, 2014
Like most times you mess up:
Thank You #MTA For Fucking Up My Commute Back Home.
— MDollaz (@MillDollarSmile) October 28, 2014
But then we see things like this and remember how cool it is to be one with the subway system:
— scenesfromnyc (@postcardsfromny) October 28, 2014
You need a little work:
— Art Jalandoni (@AArt763) October 28, 2014
And there’s almost always flatulence:
— Advents with Alicia (@adventswithal) October 27, 2014
But we know you’re sorry for it all:
You know something, #MTA? It doesn’t reallyyyy sound like you “apologize for the inconvenience.” Not even a little bit.
— Jamie Feldman (@RealGirlProject) October 27, 2014
And we’re sorry for this:
We should really treat you better for making us the strong, heartless New Yorkers we are:
Taking the #MTA on weekend evenings really is not for the faint of heart and the impatient
— Marc Schwartz (@Marc_J_Schwartz) October 26, 2014
We should treat you better for providing all those charming train conductors:
Please step all DA way in so DA doors can close #mta
— Greg Sigman (@gsigman) October 24, 2014
And for…well, not for this:
In celebration of the 110th birthday of the #NYCsubway, I got smushed into the armpit of a woman as a strange man’s genitals grazed my ass.
— Abbey Barker (@abbeybarker) October 27, 2014
But definitely because you have taught us all about the world…and unfortunately about sex-ed:
— JewishPapi™ (@Aelohim1980) October 10, 2014
On second thought, we could really do without the bodily fluids. Anyway, we love you. And at the end of the day:
Why do I never learn that under no circumstances EVER is a taxi faster than the train, as terrible as the #MTA is…..and it is terrible
— Jordan Washington (@CandidlyJordan) October 28, 2014
Nothing compares to you. Cue the Sinead O’Conner version. Here’s to a short, non-crowded commute that we doubt we’ll ever experience. Have the happiest of birthdays.
SOURCE: Twitter | PHOTO CREDIT: Instagram, Twitter, Getty