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In a chilling journal entry, an 18-year-old Missouri teen admitted to stabbing, strangling and slitting the throat of her 9-year-old neighbor, saying it was an ‘ahmazing’ and ‘pretty enjoyable’ experience.

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Alyssa Bustamante sat in court as the prosecution read her journal out loud during a sentencing hearing to determine whether she should get life in prison or as little as ten years for the October 2009 murder of her neighbor, Elizabeth Olten.

In her journal Bustamante wrote:

“I strangled them and slit their throat and stabbed them now they’re dead. I don’t know how to feel atm. It was ahmazing. As soon as you get over the `ohmygawd I can’t do this’ feeling, it’s pretty enjoyable. I’m kinda nervous and shaky though right now. Kay, I gotta go to church now…lol.”

According to the Associated Press, Bustamante, who recently turned 18, pleaded guilty last month to second-degree murder and armed criminal action. She was 15 at the time of the crimes and is being sentenced as an adult.

Bustamante headed off to a youth dance at her church after she wrote the letter while the massive search began for the missing girl.

Bustamante’s grandmother and legal guardian, Karen Brooke, was asked in court if she noticed anything different about Bustamante as they left the home that evening. She appeared a bit happier than usual, Brooke said.

Court records showed that Bustamante was abandoned by her mother and had a father in prison, which led to her depression.

She once overdosed on a large bottle of painkillers, slicing her skin hundreds of times and carving the word “hate” in her arm. She recovered from her suicide attempt and was prescribed an antidepressant drug.

Two years later, an increased dosage of the antidepressant Prozac might have made her more prone to do the unthinkable.