News has just come out that Jersey Shore’s own Angelina is pregnant. First the wrestling stunt in North Carolina in which Angelina got her ass kicked by a pink bikini and boots clad lady wrestler, and now this pregnancy.
We’re sure her kid will be proud when he or she inevitably stumbles upon the hours of “Shore” footage, wrestling tapes, and god knows what else. But it does raise the question, what are the Jersey Shore characters who are still on the Shore going to do when it ends? We’ve got a few ideas, take a look!
Hairdresser for middle aged Italian women on Staten Island. You can’t say that would not be a hit.
DJ? Yeah, that’s a possibility. But honestly, we were thinking more along the lines of the new face of Joico’s Ice Spiker, Pauly D’s key ingredient on keeping his hair so helicopter-pad-like.
Two words: relationship counselor. She’ll definitely have plenty to say on the topic. Whether any of her advice will be helpful is yet to be seen.
J-Wow’s got two things going for career wise, her looks/body and her ability to kick ass. Put those two together and you’ve got the world’s first escort body guard. You’ll get dinner and a movie with her and anybody trying to mug you will get the ass whooping of a lifetime.
Owner of used car lot “Vinny’s Vehicles!” I mean, come on, does that face belong on a billboard or what?
It’s difficult to imagine a career path which could facilitate Ronnie’s quick wit, classy mannerisms, and balls to the wall self-restraint. Which is why we think being a bouncer would be a great fit. That is until he throws a patron over the bar for brushing up against him the wrong way. “Come at me, bro!”
There’s only one job that could best suit a man who refers to himself as “The Situation”: Talk show host of his own show entitled, “The Situation With The Situation” the beginning of which would sound something like, “Todays situation on The Situation With The Situation…” Hard to say how much patience viewers would have with something like that, though.
Last but not least: pickle-fanatic Nicole Polizzi AKA Snooki. Believe it or not, we really think Snookers is going to be the first female President of the United States of America. Because let’s face it, what’s the one issue plaguing the minds of millions of Americans across the nation in these desperate and difficult times? High taxes imposed on tanning salon customers. And Presidential Candidate Nicole ‘Snooki’ Polizzi aims to fix that.