A lot of people – men and women – believe that all men are cheaters.
Their reasoning is that it’s just the natural way… no matter how happy a man is in any given situation, he is sure to look outside of his relationship for pleasure, because that’s just what a man does. When asked to dig a little deeper and look into the possible reason why, men and women who believe this say things like:
“It’s in a man’s DNA,” “Sex doesn’t mean as much as it does to women, to a man,” and better yet, I’ve even heard reasons that amount to “men are animals, driven by testosterone. They are aggressive creatures taught to chase and court women and throughout their lives cannot help but to fulfill their natural desire to continue chasing the cat.” Many even blame women; they say we’re just too sexy to resist and we should tone it down a little.
If you can’t already guess where I’m going, to this I say, Oh Hell, No!
As a young woman, how am I supposed to have faith in a world that so eagerly wants to believe that cheating is anything but a lie? In its most simple form, cheating is being dishonest.
Let me define cheating as stepping outside a relationship, in which you have committed to being physically and emotionally monogamous, to find physical or emotional pleasure.
I bring this issue up, because recently DMC’s Rev Run and singer/actress Tyrese have released a book titled Manology, which discusses the ways of men and touches on cheating. While talking about the book with The Breakfast Club, The Rev declares cheating is an act of the young and immature, while Tyrese, in but so many words, damn near condones the act.
We also have The Game, who had a whole reality TV series based on him wanting to marry his longtime girlfriend and child’s mom Tiffney Cambridge, but he recently went on The Breakfast Club and told them that cheating should be legalized.
The reason?
“It would make it easier for women. The truth is every man cheats. Fat men, skinny men, basketball player, guy who can’t play, nerds, smart guy, it doesn’t matter. A woman is better off assuming exactly what I said. You’ll be better off that way.”
And as far as a woman not being committed to him in a monogamous manner, The Game said:
“I would never understand. You know the balance. It would be over with. That’s how it goes.“
This double standard is classic.
So to those who believe this, my question is: At what point are human beings separated and distinguished from animals?
Personally, I believe that it is natural for both men and women to find people outside of their relationships attractive. Come on, you can’t say that you don’t have a celebrity crush or person in general, other than your significant other, that arouses you on a sexual level.
Where we differ from animals is that human beings can make the choice not to indulge. And if you make the choice to pursue your desire, it is a conscious decision, and you can and should be held accountable for leading your significant other astray.
Another question I have is: If you’re a woman who values monogamy and who lives life with the belief that all men cheat and it’s just because it’s natural, why even want to be in a relationship with a man at all? If you would keep a person who lies to his loved ones and disregards their values, even if they aren’t his own, that says a lot about you as a woman and human being period.
Do people really believe that no man truly just wants to be with one woman when they get into a relationship?
I think both men AND women cheat for several different reasons, but not one of those reasons is that it’s natural.
– Sukii
Twitter: @SukiiPrettyy
P.S. I posed the same question to my peers, and co-workers. Check out some of their responses below:
I don’t think all men cheat. I think a lot of them do, but not all. I think a good majority don’t cheat. Like I said before, a lot of men in power cheat because they live a life of excess a lot of times… even politicians, these men have excess in everything. So why would they treat excess in women any different? If I’m a celebrity and I have five Maybachs, why wouldn’t I have 5 women?
Men don’t cheat. MEN don’t cheat. BOYS cheat. They’re not men, they’re boys. Men are mature enough to know they don’t cheat so if you’re dealing with a man, a real man is not going to cheat on you. A real man is going to respect you enough to say ‘Hey, you know what? I’m having second thoughts. Time out. Let’s take a break,’ versus him going behind your back..
Do MALES cheat? Yes. I would say all males are capable of cheating. But I believe there has to be one man who never cheated.
Men and women cheat for different reasons and I think human beings are wired to not be monogamous. I think our society makes it so that we’re supposed to be monogamous and the reason why men cheat is they’re now battling with nature versus nurture. The nature that we’re animals, so we’re taught to instinctively mate with as many people as possible, but society has said that’s not the way it goes.
No. Absolutely not.
I think it’s the stereotype that men are more likely to cheat. I think they’re more inclined to cheat because they like to know their options more than women do, they like to sample. I think the idea of cheating is more instinctive to men, but I don’t think all men will do it.
I don’t think all men cheat and I also don’t think it’s ‘natural.” I think it’s a choice that everyone makes – not just men, women do it too. I think that men doing it is just a little more publicized. They may feel like it’s manly to do it, and a woman’s just being a bitch and a whore if she cheats. I think it has more to do with monogamy than anything else, and about monogamy possibly not being very natural for humans but us making it that way societally… But I think you must make the conscious choice to cheat.
I believe as males, our DNA has us wired to want to be with multiple women. Although there may be some bad situations where cheating sounds good, at the end of the day cheating is a conscious decision that can always be avoided. The problem is that cheating is an easier solve than letting go of a relationship that would even cause you to want to cheat.
No, we ain’t born cheaters, an’ all men don’t cheat.
