Subscribe
The Daily Grind Video
CLOSE

Oh, Stacey Dash. 

Stacey Dash stunned the universe when she decided to endorse Mitt Romney in the 2012 election last year. 

Unbeknownst to the world, and to herself, Stacey didn’t know much about the Republican Party, but she did know that Mitt was all about the money, and after playing Dionne Davenport, Stacey’s about her paper too

Yesterday, Stacey threw the world for another loop when she accused Jay-Z and Beyonce of funding Cuba’s “oppressive communist regime” on Twitter. 

Although we like Stacey Dash, we don’t like political Stacey Dash. 

So GlobalGrind decided to tell the story of Cuba’s political history from the perspective of Stacey’s pivotal role in the ’90s movie Clueless as Dionne Davenport. 

So here goes nothing. 

Scroll down below to read the story of Cuba as told by Dionne Davenport. 

Once upon a time, there was a woman named Beyonce who was saving herself for Luke Perry, I mean, Jay-Z…

Jay-Z always asks Beyonce for fi’ dollars and he calls her “woman” on a daily basis, but sometimes he calls her Ms. Beyonce… 

Most of his feminine pronouns do have mocking, but not necessarily in misogynistic undertones…

Anyways, back to the story of Cuba…

Beyonce and Jay-Z been jeepin’ around the backs of Americans and using tax payer dollars to fund Elian Gonzalez’s communist oppressive regime…

Jeepin? Jeepin?

No, but speaking of vehicular sex…

Perhaps Beyonce can explain how her extensions got in the backseat of…. 

Keyshia Cole’s car? 

I do not wear polyester hair, OK? Unlike, some people I know like…

Keyshia Cole. 

Anyways, back to the story of Cuba. 

Jay-Z and Beyonce are pretending like their trip to Cuba is for “cultural exchange” and learning purposes…

Ugh, as if!

Girlllllll…I didn’t believe it either…

We all know they’re in Cuba honeymooning like me and Murray did last year…

Don’t we look better than Jay-Z and Beyonce? 

NO? Well…

I do NOT wear polyester hair. 

Anyways, back to the story of Cuba…

So check it, Jay-Z and Beyonce shouldn’t be in Cuba…

But why? 

Because…..because…because…

…That’s it Jay-Z, I’m calling your mother.