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I’ve lived my entire life with little boobies and I feel its time to upgrade!  I’m sick of having to slip into the other room prior to a hookup and slip my “chicken cutlet” fake boobies out of my bra before I get down with a dude.  I want the “chicken cutlet” fake ta-tas inside my chest so I can flash people (especially truck drivers when I’m anonymous and out on the open road)  
I’m dying to shake what my doctor gave me…

I told Russell I wanted some buoyant breasts a few months ago (while rocking a pout and some serious doe eyes).  He was almost completely unmoved by this display, but as always he gave me some good advice.   Russell pointed out that I should be careful whom the dude is that buys them for me because that man will have access to my juggly jugs forever. 

I was shocked! I never knew that this is how the generosity of a breast upgrade works when they are bought for you.  I think this is just another indication of what a brilliant and forward thinking man Russell Simmons is.  He was just keeping it real.


I’d love to know the politics of other people and their personal floatation device.  Like, if your ex boyfriend or husband (or some sucker you got to buy them for you) wants to, are they allowed to give you a motor boat for all of eternity?
Does it depend on your relationship status, or do they always get a pass? 
I’m not a needy woman people; I could and probably will pay for my own suckable sacks.   I’m an “independent woman”. 
So, lets say I buy them for myself and am not dating anyone at the time that is there to give me the “message” to help them settle into place over the first few months.  If after I’m healed I start dating someone who never knew the ‘mosquito bites for tits’ Katie, do I have to tell them that my melons are totally fake? Or is that something men already know? 

I’ve felt fake boobs, but I didn’t really know if they felt fake cause I’m not usually touching other women’s breasts.  For some reason chicks only let me touch their boobs AFTER they’ve had them done.  It would help immensely if I had a before feel to compare it to, know what I mean?
Scars are a big concern as well, and that Vivica Fox indented/caved in/punched in the chest look.  Well, that’s just not hot.
I don’t know!  What do you think? Little natural lay down and they disappear boobs or “hi my name is Katie Rost and THESE bad boys are my robo boobs?”

(As usual, my mother is cringing in a corner somewhere asking “WHY!!!!!!”….)  

– Katie Rost

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