So, lets talk about SEX !!! This is one topic that is on everyone’s mind yet even in today’s society we rarely speak openly about. There are a million and one unanswered questions about the who’s, when’s, where’s, how’s and why’s BUT very few people willing to speak candidly on the popular subject. Today I’m at the fork in the road and I’m going straight, we’re going to talk about ‘1st Date/Night Sex’.
I get lots of tweets, IMs, text messages, facebook notes, etc … about this particular scenario, ‘does it make me a hoe if I sleep with a guy on the 1st night ?!’ No one wants to admit their curiousity because along with that comes an admission to partaking in it.
I’ve known a few promiscuous gals in my day and the one truth with all of them is, it wasn’t their actions that defined them rather their mindsets. They used sex as a tool, it was used as a means to get the things they wanted in life or to avoid the actual reality of their lives. Some used lust to get gifts or keep someone’s interest, others used intimacy to replace neglect from childhood or in an attempt to swap negative memories for sexual climaxes with those who resembled people from their past. In all actuality ‘Sex is Sex’ … The sooner we accept it for what it is the better. Men will only play the games women allow us to, meaning we’ll keep over emphasizing on sexual timelines as long as we know its a ‘big deal’ to you ladies. The real problem is women put more significance on the way the world may feel about them than how they feel about themselves. If a woman knew her worth and was genuinely secure in it, she would be able to act in whatever manner she pleased because at the end of the night she would look in the mirror and see the same person she saw that morning.
Your actions don’t define you, the people who judge you don’t define you … YOU can only define you. So when it comes to sex if you have your reasons to take that step then by all means enjoy your decision, just make sure you are confident in the person you are before you do.
So the answer to the proposed question from above, NO 1st Date/Night Sex doesn’t make you a hoe, no more than a parking ticket makes you a bad driver. It means you found a connection in the time allotted or tried to salvage a night with physical pleasure … I can’t say with complete certainty because each situation is different but what I will suggest is always be accountable for your actions and make sure that YOU can sleep at night … If you can do that nothing else really matters.
Until Next Week …
Live. Laugh. Love.. Life,
The Real Hitch