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Hello My Global Grinditas!!!

I recently took a little down time to see my Father for Daddy’s day, and it made me realize how truly blessed I have been.  First let me wish a belated Happy Father’s Day to all the Father’s that do their best to raise their children!!

As I do more mentoring with young women I run into more instances of teen pregnancy and single mothers who are raising children either alone or with some half-a$$ baby daddy.  From the ‘tele-daddy’ who thinks calling on the phone every blue moon means he is raising his child, to the ‘drive-thru’ daddy who sees his kids just long enough to hit a McDonalds and drop ’em back off, or even the more popular ‘MIA (missing in action) to never be seen again’ daddy.  I’m realizing that the number of single mothers and broken homes is rising and too often the result is a broken child.

For those of you already dealing with these types of situations I want to say a few things. The first is to commend you on taking the responsibility and challenge of raising another person. The second is for being the bigger person in your situation and doing what is best for yourself and your child.

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Now for my ladies that are still new to the ‘baby daddy’ phenomena. Let me say this. No matter how much you love or think you love a man, having a baby will not keep him with you. I’m sorry to say it mama but it’s a fact.  You may not want to talk about it and your friends may not understand how you feel.  But I am here to tell you that trying to ‘trap’ a man by getting pregnant will not have the outcome you are hoping for, in fact 9 times out of 10 the opposite happens.  It goes a little something like this.

Girl gets pregnant and guy seems excited for a little while as if the baby is a new puppy or video game.  Guy doesn’t really love girl so as girl’s body changes and baby emotions take over, guy doesn’t understand or even really care and starts seeking other women with less issues aka ‘new booty’.  The baby comes and has that new baby smell and guy is caught up in the excitement – he even seems in love all over again UNTIL, he realizes that babies mean WORK!! 

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In most situations when a man really isn’t in love and has not committed to you (marriage) – you are now a double burden.  Not only are you ‘old booty’ but you are also ‘old booty’ with a baby!

If he isn’t ready to grow up or be mature he is going to avoid you AND the baby.  If he is ready to handle the duty he is going to avoid YOU, and only want to deal with his baby.  Either way mama, you are not going to be the happy party in this type of situation.  Not only have you changed your body and your life for this man that never loved you, but you have also in the process created another person that you are now responsible for.

This is why I encourage you to be safe, stay protected, and not force the pregnancy issue until you are financially stable, mature, and in a situation with a man that will love and be there for both you and your child.

-Drew Sidora

 Check me out on twitter @drewsidora

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