Holiday season 2019 is upon us. And while many of you are spending your time wondering if canned collard greens are acceptable (they’re not!), we’d ask that you consider another highly important issue—your own peace of mind.
As beautiful and heartwarming as the holidays can be, tons of folk dread having to reunite with family and friends they’d otherwise avoid. And with good reason — some of us are out here trying to live our best lives, progress, and be a lot less petty. Others (cough, cough) are stuck in that same old toxic bullsh*t.
We’re here to remind you: you absolutely don’t have to partake in any of it. You have the choice to opt out and do your own thing, or pick and choose which close ones you want to celebrate with. But, if you’re not quite there in life just yet and probably will end up at an awkward dinner table full of judgment and drama, we created a list of folks you can mentally “mute” in order to maintain your sanity for the time being. You can also “mute” them on Instagram… just saying. It’s time to think about you, even if ever so slightly.
The Unsolicited Advisor
Whoever this irritating “consultant” is in your family or circle of friends, identify them, and put up a mental block pronto. If it’s you, stop being that person who’s constantly all up in everybody else’s business, when you can’t seem to get your own life together. Your opinion was not requested, nor does it help. Damn sis, mind your business!
If you watch Greenleaf, you know what we’re talking about. That suspect uncle who feels the need to keep commenting on how “grown up” you are — yea, stay away from him.
Mooching Ass Moochie
Everybody has that cousin who always seems to need something. You can barely have an interaction with Lil Tay Tay without him “trying to see if you got $20” he can “hold.” What does that even mean — are you requesting a loan or handout? Either way, constantly giving your hard-earned money away can become overwhelming. Where your parents at, damn!
The Unpredictable Drunk
There’s always that uncle or auntie that doesn’t know when to stop drinking. Everyone’s just waiting on a fight to breakout, or that inevitable awkward outburst. Steer clear… with all that positive energy pouring from your veins, you’re sure to become a target this holiday season.
Your Overstepping Auntie
She needs no introduction. You just went full-time at your job, you barely have a bae, let alone a whole person to procreate with — but your auntie won’t stop asking things like “When you gon’ get married?,” “When you gon’ have a baby?”, “What you waiting for? You ain’t getting any younger.” She doesn’t mean any harm… smile and mentally mute.
The Trump Supporter
In times like these, there’s simply no reason to even entertain a person who thinks Trump is making America “great again.” If you’ve already firmly stated your stance on the issues at hand, make a mental note to, once again, mentally mute ’em.