So, this is a part of my life, I’ve never publicly spoken about. But I know, I’m not alone. My mom is an addict. Her drug of choice…..Alcohol. And watching her battle this disease over the
years, I have to write about it.
Funny thing is, before we moved to LA, I don’t ever remember her taking a drink. My brother and I had a great childhood. Originally from Detroit, (yes, I’m from the D), we landing in Philadelphia when I was 8. Mom was a retired police officer from Detroit, who actually sued the city for Sexual Harrassment in the 80’s and was compensated well. Also wrote a book on it. Dad was a doctor. We were Middle Class and normal. I had been acting in Philly and New York, and it was her idea, to go to LA in the summer of ‘94 and give acting a shot on the West Coast. I booked The Parent’hood within a month, and she, myself, and my brother made the move. It was a big adjustment, but she did everything she could to keep things normal for us. So, you can understand my confusion, when at 15, I started noticing my MOM, coming home later and later, or not at all. I knew she was raising my brother and I alone in this new city, and she needed a break from time to time. And I was happy to get my own alone time with my then boyfriend….hehe. (Husband now) Then I started actually seeing her inebriated. Stumbling in at 4am, I’d hear stories of her being at clubs till the wee hours, watching her leave our house at midnight, and drive away drunk, as I pleaded for her not to. This went on for years.
She became someone, my brother and I HATED being around. Dad was in Philadelphia, so we felt very alone. Work was my only get away. And they all knew. Most of Hollywood did. And when you have an addict as your parent/manager, $$$ problems are gonna occur. When I started getting old enough to ask where my money was going, that’s when things really got bad. And I left at 16. Since then, our relationship has been, rocky… to say the least. Her addiction really got out of control. She’s a binge drinker, so she can be sober for months, even years, and then, out of the blue…..sigh. I’m not downing her. I love her, and I want her to love herself. I know her heart. She’s funny, loving, strong, loves being around family, but can be very self-destructive.
As I’ve gotten older, and started my own family, I’ve realized that I have to love her from a distance. For my own sanity. Because, as people who know addicts will agree, lying and manipulation, is the addicts bread and butter. And misery loves company. And as Scarlett’s mom, I can’t….I won’t allow it. I pray that “this time” it lasts. Not even for me, or my brother, we’re grown. For her. I wanted to share my story, to let others with stories like mine, know, they’re not alone. I was lucky, in that, I was on a show with amazing people who cared about me, and made sure that I was okay. But they’re are kids out there who don’t have that option.
And to them I say, keep your head up. Stay in school, and have your plan mapped out. Because where you come from, doesn’t determine where you’re going:)
God Bless.
