Your mother fell in love.
She met a man who she believed she would grow old with and although they both had their differences, even though the rest of the world counted them out, they counted on the love they had to hold them through.
Then, one day the love they believed would last forever was tested, and it ended in a physical altercation that left your mother in the hospital, and her love behind bars.
Is this a laughing matter?
Domestic violence is by no means a funny story when it is personalized, so I cannot seem to comprehend why Evelyn Lozada’s domestic dispute with Chad Ochocinco has been met with a bevy of responses that in some ways imply she “deserved” the treatment she endured.
For those who were spared the media circus that surrounded the highly publicized demise of the Ev-Ocho saga, here is a short recap:
-On Saturday, Chad Ochocinco was arrested for allegedly head-butting his wife Evelyn Lozada over a fight about a receipt for a box of condoms.
-Evelyn was admitted to the hospital with a gash on her forehead.
-Chad was dropped from his football team, the Miami Dolphins.
-VH1 cut production for the pair’s reality show that was set to premiere in the fall.
-Evelyn Lozada filed for divorce from Chad Ochocinco.
And that all happened within the span of two days. Then, to put the proverbial cherry on top, Evelyn was attacked via Twitter by the ex-husband of her former best friend, Eric Williams, who made a mockery of the domestic abuse in a series of tasteless tweets.
I was a faithful viewer of every single season of Basketball Wives that featured Evelyn. She was loud, boisterous, confidant, and not one to take any shit from anyone. But she was not only that CHARACTER portrayed, but also a loving mother, a loved daughter and a sister. She could be your sister, she has been my sister, and when I was on the receiving end of the phone listening to stories of abuse between sobs, I distinctly remember there being nothing to laugh about.
Chad fell in like with the character that Evelyn played on Basketball Wives. He knew the fight she had in her. He, and the rest of the world, were privy to all her previous accolades and perils, but he fell in love. And shortly after falling in love, he allegedly attacked her. All of the table jumping and bottle throwing in the world cannot prepare a woman for a fight against a man who makes his living tackling people on a field.
Let’s take a minute to think about just how warped reality television has made our minds. We find entertainment in tuning in to people fighting, being mentally abused, losing friends and love and so on and so forth, because if it’s on TV how real could it really be, right?
But at some point, we have to take a step back and rationalize. When the cameras are gone, the lights dim down, and the wet wipes take the makeup off, Evelyn Lozada’s life is still very, very much real. As was her dispute with Chad. This is not a television show, this is her life.
Now, after filing for divorce from Chad, instead of concentrating on the abuse, people are focusing on just how LONG she was married, counting her days and paralleling her marriage to that of Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries.
A woman should not be mocked for leaving an abusive situation; she should be rewarded for breaking a cycle. What type of sick example are we setting? Stay and be abused so that you can say you were married longer than another reality TV star?!
It is all mind-boggling.
It is not of importance to me where life has brought you, this is the most general statement I will ever make: if you are a woman who has no compassion for another woman who has been domestically abused, then your soul is gone.
Call Evelyn what you will, a fame seeker, a gold digger or whatever other demeaning term used to make women feel like they are wrong for chasing the things they desire from life, but all the gold digging in the world doesn’t mean that anyone deserves for the shovel to be turned on them in a violent manner.
If there isn’t a woman in the world who will stand up for Evelyn Lozada, then I will carry that burden and fight tooth and nail when I say domestic violence is not acceptable in any form, in any situation, no matter the person.
We all have our perils, but that doesn’t mean we don’t deserve to be loved.
Rachel is the Associate Editor and Senior Style Writer for GlobalGrind.com, proud graduate of a SUNY school, and as sarcastic as they come. Follow her on Twitter for random daily ramblings @MiissHislop