So last night was the first round of the 2013 NFL Draft. I know, I know, obvious.
But, as every ounce of these men’s physical abilities will continue to be scrutinized until the season gets started [and really throughout the whole season,] I figured why not scrutinize their physical appearances? Well, not scrutinize, just rank them.
Because when it’s all said and done, us women don’t really care how well you play, you’ve made it to the pros so you’re all already basically on the same playing field in our eyes, now we just care what you look like.
Just stating the obvious.
For a quick recap, here’s the first round picks in order…
1. Kansas City Chiefs Eric Fisher OT Central Michigan
2. Jacksonville Jaguars Luke Joeckel OT Texas A&M
3. Miami Dolphins Dion Jordan OLB Oregon
4. Philadelphia Eagles Lane Johnson OT Oklahoma
5. Detroit Lions Ezekiel Ansah DE BYU
6. Cleveland Browns Barkevious Mingo OLB LSU
7. Arizona Cardinals Jonathan Cooper G North Carolina
8. St. Louis Rams Tavon Austin WR West Virginia
9. New York Jets Dee Milliner CB Alabama
10. Tennessee Titans Chance Warmack G Alabama
11. San Diego Chargers D.J. Fluker OT Alabama
12. Oakland Raiders D.J. Hayden CB Houston
13. New York Jets Sheldon Richardson DT Missouri
14. Carolina Panthers Star Lotulelei D TUtah
15. New Orleans Saints Kenny Vaccaro S Texas
16. Buffalo Bills E.J. Manuel QB Florida St.
17. Pittsburgh Steelers Jarvis Jones OLB Georgia
18. San Francisco 49ers Eric Reid S LSU
19. New York Giants Justin Pugh OT Syracuse
20. Chicago Bears Kyle Long G Oregon
21. Cincinnati Bengals Tyler Eifert TE Notre Dame
22. Atlanta Falcons Desmond Trufant CB Washington
23. Minnesota Vikings Sharrif Floyd DT Florida
24. Indianapolis Colts Bjoern Werner DE Florida St.
25. Minnesota Vikings Xavier Rhodes CB Florida St.
26. Green Bay Packers Datone Jones DE UCLA
27. Houston Texans DeAndre Hopkins WR Clemson
28. Denver Broncos Sylvester Williams DT North Carolina
29. Minnesota Vikings Cordarrelle Patterson WR Tennessee
30. St. Louis Rams Alec Ogletree MLB Georgia
31. Dallas Cowboys Travis Frederick C Wisconsin
32. Baltimore Ravens Matt Elam S Florida
But here’s really how they should have ranked…
1. Cordarrelle Patterson [this man takes the top spot with flying colors]
2. E.J. Manuel
3. Eric Reid [sooo precious]
4. Dion Jordan
5. Tyler Eifert
6. Kenny Vaccaro
7. Barkevious Mingo
8. DeAndre Hopkins
9. Matt Elam
10. D.J. Hayden
11. Tavon Austin
12. Dee Milliner
13. Xavier Rhodes
15. Desmond Trufant
15. Alec Ogletree
16. Ezekiel [Ziggy] Ansah
17. Eric Fisher
18. Sharrif Floyd
19. Bjoern Werner
20. Datone Jones
21. Jarvis Jones
22. Sheldon Richardson
23. Justin Pugh
24. Star Lotulelei
25. Chance Warmack
26. Lane Johnson
27. Luke Joeckel
28. Travis Frederick
29. Jonathan Cooper
30. D.J. Fluker
31. Kyle Long
32. Sylvester Williams
And here are some extra pics of Cordarrelle Patterson just because we could all use more of him.
This man looks good from every angle.
