I know what you’re thinking. It’s Memorial Day Weekend. You’ll remember family or friends who gave their lives to protect this country. You’ll honor them by visiting a gravesite or memorial. But you’ll also celebrate their lives with the food of the Gods: barbeque.
And for many people, that’s what Memorial Day Weekend is all about. Good food, good company, great memories.
But if you’re a vegetarian like me, you might feel a little…left out.
No charred chicken. No smoky hot dogs. No juicy burgers.
And for a lot of vegetarians, that’s not an issue…meat repulses them.
But for those like me…who chose vegetarianism because it was better for the environment, not because meat is gross…it can be the test of life. The smell. The sizzle. The peer pressure.
Do not get me started on the peer pressure.
But the truth is…you can still enjoy a good cookout if you’re committed to veggies.
In fact, we’ll probably have a more turned-up time than you meat eaters. Not to introduce separatism…but it is what it is.
First of all…our veggie burgers look just like your meat disks…but are like half the calories:
So basically I’ll be walking around like this instead of feeling like a fat ass:
And you can eat them and still get that coveted grill taste. Because veggie burgers just have it like that. And they’re transformative and epic and who thought of these things anyway?
Jealous yet?
And don’t even get me started on the veggie dogs, because Trader Joes has changed the game…so eff your grocery store’s generic cylinders of poison:
But fake meats aside…other things can be grilled. Like fruit:
And nutrient-rich vegetables:
And all of these things cook significantly faster than real meat. So you can be all like:
And it’s all super non-fattening, so you won’t feel like this next to your skinny friend:
And you’re always the life of the party. Because you’re different, and fun, and not full of animal grease and everyone secretly admires you for being so disciplined in your eating habits:
And if all else fails and you’re still feeling like your food is a bit more bland than the fat and flesh being devoured by your family and friends…or that you’re not the life of the party…or even if you feel like grilled peaches are overrated and you’re just really missing meat…turn to cheese. ALWAYS turn to cheese.
Is that even a real question? Cheese. It solves all problems.
Enjoy your weekend!
Christina Coleman is the News and Politics Editor at GlobalGrind and a Howard University Alumna. Prior to this she was a science writer. That explains her NASA obsession. She crushes on Anthony Bourdain. Nothing explains that.
