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The ESPYS are tonight, people! You know what that means … hot, sexy athletes dressed to perfection.

This is officially my favorite day of the year.

Here are some tidbits about the show that might help…

Where: Nokia Theatre, Los Angeles, Calif.

Host: Jon Hamm

Awards Categories:

  • Best Male Athlete
  • Best Female Athlete
  • Best Championship Performance
  • Best Breakthrough Athlete
  • Best Record-Breaking Performance
  • Best Upset
  • Best Game
  • Best Moment
  • Best Team
  • Best Coach/Manager
  • Best Comeback
  • Best International Athlete
  • Best NFL Player
  • Best MLB Player
  • Best NHL Player
  • Best Driver
  • Best NBA Player
  • Best WNBA Player
  • Best Fighter
  • Best Male Golfer
  • Best Female Golfer
  • Best Male Tennis Player
  • Best Female Tennis Player
  • Best Male College Athlete
  • Best Female College Athlete
  • Best Male Action Sport Athlete
  • Best Female Action Sport Athlete
  • Best Jockey
  • Best Male Athlete With a Disability 
  • Best Female Athlete With a Disability 
  • Best Bowler
  • Best MLS Player
  • Best Male US Olympic Athlete
  • Best Female US Olympic Athlete 
  • Best Play will be voted on bracket-style

. . . 

OK, so now that that’s out of the way, let’s get to what really matters here.

The athletes. 

I’m hoping to see a little of this

A lot of this

Very little of this

Hopefully none of this [sorry, no offense]

I would LOVE to see any amount of this

And if I see ANY of this I’ll freak the fuck out

I assume this will happen at least once

But really, it’s all about this…

and this

and this

and especially this

So thank you, ESPN for bringing us the ESPYS. I will be forever grateful.

ESPN tonight. 9pm. Do it.