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We’re not sure what you were doing for the last seven months, but it wasn’t living.

And that’s because football wasn’t on. And, football gives us all lifeeeee. (*Beyonce-fan voice*)

Football officially returns tonight, and it feels freakin’ amazing to write out that sentence. For the first game, the Green Bay Packers head to Seattle to play the defending Super Bowl Champion Seahawks.

We can’t wait.

To get ya’ll prepared for this upcoming year, here are GlobalGrind’s official predictions for the 2014 season.

1. One of the big four teams from last season — Denver Broncos, New England Patriots, San Francisco 49ers, or Seattle Seahawks — is going to have a big drop-off year.

The popular pick for the trouble team is the 49ers. They have been plagued with problems all off-season (various important players have had legal troubles, and coach Jim Harbaugh was close to taking a job with the Cleveland Browns).

But we also think there’s a good chance the Denver Broncos take a tumble. Last year, the Broncos had one of the easiest schedules in the league. That’s not happening this year. Broncos play the Seahawks, the 49ers, at the Pats, at the Bengals, the Chargers twice…it’s not easy stuff.

Plus, the Broncos are considerably old at most of their skilled positions. And, honestly, this team is one Peyton Manning slip from going 5 and 11.

2. Beast Mode will no longer be beastly.

Marshawn Lynch is 28 years old. He’s going into his eighth year in the league; four of those years he’s played with the Seahawks. And they got every bit of use out of him. The last two seasons, he’s had over 300 carries and the year before that, he had 285.

He’s going to break down. And it’s going to happen soon. The late 20s are the years that the elite running backs start to fold. And remember: RB declines aren’t gradual. They happen overnight. Ask Eddie George. Ask LaDainian Tomlinson. Ask Maurice Jones-Drew. The list just keeps going on.

You add all that to the fact that Lynch is one of the most bruising runners in the league, last year might have been the last time we say Beast Mode.

3. Expect to be Manziel-ing. 

Brian Hoyer has been announced as the starting quarterback for the Cleveland Browns this year. Don’t get used to seeing him, though: while Hoyer is a capable QB, everyone wants to see his back up, Johnny Manziel, start. And it’s going to happen. Remember, the Browns took Manziel in the first round (with the 22nd pick) and they’re not going to have a player picked that high just rot away on the bench. Also, there is a lot of public pressure from Browns fans who want to see what Drake’s BFF can do. Expect to see Manziel in the middle of the season, after some typical struggles from Hoyer.

And he’s going to have his Tebow-like moments. He’s too dynamic not to have great games. But some of his limitations (lack of size, lack of speed, lack of work ethic) has us wondering what his longterm prospects are.

4. Teddy Bridgewater is going to be the stud rookie QB. 

Listen, folks: Teddy Bridgewater, who was drafted by the Minnesota Vikings, is the real deal. While Manziel has struggled in preseason, Bridgewater has been tearing things up: going 30 of 49 passing, while throwing five touchdowns and having zero interceptions.

He is currently behind veteran Matt Cassel in the depth chart, who, with the exception of one season in New England, has been the definition of an average QB. Expect Cassel to get yanked and Bridgewater to come in and excel, with the help of dynamic players like running back Adrian Peterson and wide receiver Cordarrelle Patterson.

5. The Dolphins’ Ryan Tannehill is going to be the breakout player of the NFL.

Mike Sherman was the offensive coordinator of the Miami Dolphins last year. He was one of the more conservative play callers in the league, and that hurt Tannehill, who isn’t a traditional pocket passer.

That’s going to change this year. The Dolphins fired Sherman and hired Bill Lazor, who last year worked on the Philadelphia Eagles’ Chip Kelly-led staff. Lazor knows how to ball. And he is going to utilize Tannehill as a scrambling QB. When Tannehill is throwing outside of the pocket, he’s considered elite.

There is also some real talent on that team: from wide receivers Mike Williams and Brian Hartline, to running back Lamar Miller.

6. Michael Sam will find a home. 

People gave Tony Dungy hell for saying he wouldn’t pick up openly gay defensive end Michael Sam because he was too much of a distraction. But maybe he had a pulse on the league. Because after the Rams cut him last weekend, only one team showed interest in picking Sam up. Luckily, one team is all you need. As of yesterday, Sam has signed on to join the Cowboys practice team.

All Sam needs is an opportunity. He actually played well for the Rams in preseason, getting a couple of sacks. The only reason he got cut was the Rams were crowded at his position. Cowboys have one of the more woeful defenses in the league, so he should be able to get his minutes and leave a mark.

7. Goodbye, Robert Griffin III; hello Kirk Cousins.

Nothing against Griffin, but he just can’t stay on the field. This is trouble when you have a QB like Cousins, who is more than capable, just waiting in the trenches. Insert another injury from Robert Griffin III, only because he still hasn’t found a way not to get hurt, unlike someone like Russell Wilson, who is always scrambling but never gets hit hard or even cleanly. (Wilson needs to teach Griffin how to slide.)

8. Expect a Washington Washington Football Team name change. 

Washington Washington Football Team owner Daniel Snyder just can’t run from this anymore. The voices supporting the name Washington Football Team are getting lower and lower. It seems like everyday another major publication drops Washington Football Team from their name. One of the team’s hometown papers The Washington Post dropped the name earlier in the summer.

The latest publication to ditch the name is the New York Daily News, who also won’t even use the logo. That pressure is added to the fact that most people believe a disappointing season is on the horizon, and 2014 looks like it could be a major fail. The team and the brand needs to do something for a PR boost.

9. The Eagles will beat the Chargers in Super Bowl XLIX.

We’re calling it now. The Eagles are going to be really good. Like, 14 and 2 good. Coach Chip Kelly has proven that he’s a true offensive genius in the college game, and his expertise has traveled to the pro level. The team has real defensive problems, but that doesn’t mean anything when you can outscore anyone like this team can.

Also, the Eagles play in the NFC East, one of the weaker divisions in the sport. So their schedule is cake. This is important because the team can get home field advantage, which is crucial in a playoff clash with the Seattle Seahawks. The one major question mark is Nick Foles: who had a monster season last year. He only had two interceptions; there’s almost no chance he plays at the same level he did last year.

As for the Chargers: they are our sleeper team. And every year there is a sleeper team in the Super Bowl. (Even though last year there wasn’t one, which was odd.)

The Chargers are really sneaky good. Their offense, lead by QB Phillip Rivers, is still pretty potent and they patched up the defensive holes they had last year.

10. Rihanna will be the act who pays the NFL to perform halftime at Super Bowl XLIX.

She will also do something deemed inappropriate by the FCC. And next year, we’ll get a Hootie & the Blowfish show.

PHOTO CREDIT: Getty, Giphy

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