The Daily Grind Video

Guys, we don’t know how to tell you this, but you may want to lay off the potatoes for a while after reading this post.

And now that we got that out of the way, here’s the story of a 22-year-old woman who put a potato in her vagina as a means of contraceptive – only to have it germinate and grow roots inside her vagina cavity.

We wish we were making this up. Partly because it’s the stuff horror movies are made out of. And secondly, because if this is how the young women of the world are preventing pregnancy, we have failed tremendously at sexual education and making effective and smart contraceptive options accessible.

That, my friends, is the real tragedy.

Oh, and there’s this description from Jezebel of how this misconception about birth control was rooted into this woman’s life. Pun totally intended.

This strange tale begins with a stomach ache and an ill-fated attempt at contraception. The 22-year-old woman who suffered the horrors of a vagina full of roots went to the hospital when she began feeling abdominal pain. While there, she revealed to the doctors that she had used a potato as a contraceptive, a method that her mother told her would work. Okay. How does that work exactly? Well, according to Colombia Reports, the young woman just placed the potato inside herself and let it chill there for about two weeks. At that point the potato grew roots and suddenly the woman is some kind of incubator for an alien potato baby.

We wonder how the Supreme Court feels about this natural and terrifying contraceptive method.