What A Weird Web: From Kanye To Twerking, All The Things You NEED To Know From Miley’s Rolling Stone Interview (LIST)

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Oh, Miley.

After taking the stage for what may arguably become the most talked about performance of the year, Miley Cyrus has landed her very first Rolling Stone cover, and she celebrated with a Rolling Stone tattoo on her feet, and of course, a literal tongue wagging cover.

Far more interesting than the expected nude cover, is the naked interview that follows on a journey of sky diving, nightclubs, and new ink, where Miley takes a no-holds-barred approach at telling all and giving us the first unfiltered look into her life since she transformed into the latex wearing, booty gyrating girl we now know.

And it seems like we had a lot to learn about not just Miley, but her dad Billy, her bestie Kanye West and her relationship with Lil Kim and Pharrell. Check out the most notable lessons learned from the stomach churning ride that was Miley Cyrus’ Rolling Stone interview.

Falling under “people doing fucked up shit” is anyone who gets a Miley Cyrus or Hannah Montana related tattoo:

“People get tattoos of the most fucked-up shit. Did you know Alec Baldwin has Hannah Montana’s initials tattooed on him? No, wait – Stephen Baldwin. He said he was my biggest fan, and I told him my biggest fans have tattoos. So he got him tattooed on his shoulder.” She shakes her head. “People do fucked-up shit.”

Steve Carell is not here for any of Miley’s antics:

Diddy’s baby mama lives right there,” Miley says, pointing over the fence behind her pool. And down the street is Steve Carell, who has two preteen kids and doesn’t sound like the biggest Miley fan. “He always gives me the stank-eye because I drive so fast,” Miley says. “The other day I was trying to reverse and I almost hit a thousand things, and I was getting nervous because I could see him going” – she crosses her arms and lets out a big, annoyed sigh. “I’m like, oh, my God, Dan in Real Life is watching me right now!”

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She feels like Robin Thicke should also be the aim for some of the MTV VMAs shade thrown her way:

“No one is talking about the man behind the ass. It was a lot of ‘Miley twerks on Robin Thicke,’ but never, ‘Robin Thicke grinds up on Miley.’ They’re only talking about the one that bent over. So obviously there’s a double standard.”

She thinks that Americans have the most distorted view of what should be censored…and dare we say, she may have a point with this one: 

“America is just so weird in what they think is right and wrong,” she continues. “Like, I was watching Breaking Bad the other day, and they were cooking meth. I could literally cook meth because of that show. It’s a how-to. And then they bleeped out the word ‘fuck.’ And I’m like, really? They killed a guy, and disintegrated his body in acid, but you’re not allowed to say ‘fuck’? It’s like when they bleeped ‘molly’ at the VMAs. Look what I’m doing up here right now, and you’re going to bleep out ‘molly’? Whatever.”

Kanye West is a subscriber to the church of Miley, and visited her before her VMAs performance to let her know: 

“He came in and goes, ‘There are not a lot of artists I believe in more than you right now,'” she recalls. “The whole room went quiet. I was like, ‘Yo – can you say that again?!'” She laughs. “I just kept repeating that over and over in my mind, and it made me not nervous.”

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Her confidence comes from the reassurance she receives from hip-hop major players, as Miley is heavy in the text circuits: 

Kanye texts her (when did he get a phone?): 

Manhattan recording studio to work on a remix for his song “Black Skinhead.” The next day he sent a text: “He said, ‘I still can’t quit thinking about your performance,'” Miley says.

Pharrell texts her the same kinda stuff:

“This is why I love Pharrell so much,” she says, then reads a text that he sent her out loud. It’s at least 1,000 characters long; she scrolls forever. “The VMAs was nothing more than God or the Universe showing you how powerful anything you do is,” he says at one point. “It’s like uranium – it has the power to take over lives or power entire countries. Now that you’ve seen your power, master it. You’re not a train wreck,” he says later. “You’re the train pulling everyone else along.”

And Lil Kim is out here sending her little pumpkin Miley texts as well:

he checks her phone and reads a text from Lil’ Kim out loud: “My little pumpkin, I just had to tell you you’re so fucking smart. I love you and all the press you are getting. Sad I didn’t run into you at the VMAs. Keep killing it, boo.” Miley laughs. “My little pumpkin!”

Which helps us conclude the hip-hop world is very textually active. 

Kanye not only texts her, he sends her gifts and consults on her outfits. (AHEM…Kim?)

She also happened to mention that a pair of fur Céline slippers she’d bought were falling apart, and Kanye bought her five more pairs. “Kanye is the shit,” she says. “I kind of have a good relationship with him now. It’s good to have someone you can call and be like, ‘Yo, do you think I should wear this?’ ‘Do you think I should go in the studio with this guy?’ ‘Do you think this is cool?’ That’s what homies are supposed to do.”

She understands that her ass is very, very flat and kinda vows to never twerk with said ass again:

“People are like, ‘Miley thinks she’s a black girl, but she’s got the flattest ass ever,'” she says. “I’m like, I’m 108 pounds! I know! Now people expect me to come out and twerk with my tongue out all the time. I’ll probably never do that shit again.”

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She doesn’t need to be reminded that she is white…We’re only about two generations away from race being obscure anyway!

“I’m from one of the wealthiest counties in America,” she says. “I know what I am. But I also know what I like to listen to. Look at any 20-year-old white girl right now – that’s what they’re listening to at the club. It’s 2013. The gays are getting married, we’re all collaborating. I would never think about the color of my dancers, like, ‘Ooh, that might be controversial.’ What do you mean?” she says with a laugh. “Times are changing. I think there’s a generation or two left, and then it’s gonna be a whole new world.”

She’s giving advice to Justin Bieber, says he is trying too hard…but…you…we’ll just leave it at that: 

“A little bit,” she says. “But not really. I’m not much older than him, so I never want it to feel like I’m mentoring him. But I do mentor him in a way. Because I’ve been doing this shit for a long time, and I already transitioned, and I don’t think he’s quite done it yet. He’s trying really hard,” she adds. “People don’t take him seriously, but he really can play the drums, he really can play guitar, he really can sing. I just don’t want to see him fuck that up, to where people think he’s Vanilla Ice. I tell him that. Like, ‘You don’t want to become a joke. When you go out, don’t start shit. Don’t come in shirtless.’ But the thing is,” she says with a laugh, “I think boys are, like, seven years behind. So in his head, he’s really, like, 12.”

Despite being raised in the shelter of Cali, She feels like she “grew up” in Detroit: 

“Detroit’s where I felt like I really grew up,” she says. “It was only for a summer, but that’s where I started going to clubs, where I got my first tattoo. Well, not my first tattoo, but my first without my mom’s consent. I got it on 8 Mile! I lied to the guy and told him I was 18. I got a heart on my finger and wore a Band-Aid for two months so my mom wouldn’t find out.”

Fuck adults: 

“I hung out with way too many adults when I was a kid,” she says. “So now I don’t want to hang out with any adults. I’ve already done all the hard work. Now I can kind of fuck off.”

She doesn’t like when her mom calls her “sweet girl” and tells her to go potty in front of Kanye West:

“When she’s being embarrassing, she’ll call me ‘sweet girl,'” Miley says. “When we were getting ready for the VMAs, I was about to put on my teddy-bear costume and she’s like, ‘Sweet girl, do you need to potty before you put your costume on?’ I’m like, ‘Mom! Kanye is standing right here!'”

And alas, Miley admits that she completely understood her dad once she realized he was a stoner: 

“We have a different relationship now,” she says. “Now I hear all these crazy stories from him. Like, I never knew my dad smoked weed. I thought my dad was a freak. Now I know he was just stoned.”

SOURCE: Rolling Stone | PHOTO CREDIT: RS

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