by Shelly Flash
In this era of “new age” dating, do any particular rules still apply or have we opened ourselves up to more subconscious baggage with our liberal approach to male/female interaction? We like to say “I am exploring my options”, “don’t look for love – just let it happen”, “I am not ready for a commitment”, “the homie-lover-friends” theory or
the newly public – “I am in an open relationship” (thanks MoNique j/k lol).
What have we signed up for? And can you accept all the un-rules, that come along with un-dating?
The other day my girlfriend called me vex about a young man (who is not her boyfriend) that she has been sleeping with because he asked her if they could have sex without a condom… And upon her asking him the last time he had sex with another woman and she not liking the answer he gave – my girlfriend become disgusted & extremely upset. So I replied somewhat perplexed, why are you bothered? Because what you signed up for, rules do not apply.
Let me explain…
When you decide to have a lustful, non-committal, liberal or open interaction with another person – you have entered the land where anything goes and you have to deal. We enter a world of unspoken for rules and a lot of gray area. Also if you are trifling aka cheating on your committed mate – you have absolutely no legs to stand on and you have relinquished your “that’s not right” card. Unfortunately, we (especially women) tend to equate sex, good conversation, time or money spent as some sort of substantial connection and begin to “catch feelings”. And it feels good but in actuality those things are called being cordially or protecting the convenience of the interaction (most time the booty call). They are NOT always a real connection.
My view may not be popular but it is realistic.
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I had to snap my girlfriend back into reality because she caught some level of disillusioned feeling for this man she is cheating with and wants to hold him accountable for his other sexual dealings but she can’t because rules technically don’t apply in their situation aka you are trifling. And it time play your position.
And how about this, say you aren’t trifling, cheating or what have you – you are just casually dating (no commitments). Unfortunately, you have to deal with the grays of courting and now the un-rules of casually seeing someone.
And there are few unfortunates about casually dating. It’s great to keep you options open but think about it…. have you ever starting seeing someone, having some decent conversation or begin to hang out on occasion then all of a sudden you become “falsely” territorial, start thinking your in some light-weight relationship or begin to get bothered when they break “the un-spoken” pattern of the interaction (i.e. don’t call for a few days)…. Yup Yup remember, you have signed up to casually date and rules do not apply.
My point is that regardless of path of interaction you sign up for, it’s all about choices – so choose wisely because some paths come with baggage, heartache, some bullshit or at times a new mate.
