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About a date

Let’s talk about about phenomenon ‘dating’. Question: when is it a date? When I first came to New York a guy asked me ”Yo, wanna hang out?” I guess that’s a date right? So I said ”yea i wanna hang out – let’s hang out!

The day we were about to ”hang out” he sent me a text with an address and I’m thinking ”what’s WRONG with you??”, shouldn’t I be the one sending him the address where he should pick me up? Anyway, I jumped in a cab and of course when I got to the restaurant (OMG I was SO overdressed) I spent 20 Minutes waiting at the bar until he has finally arrived. So instead of asking him ”what’s WRONG with you??” I go like ”hiii *smile*” and he goes ”you look hot”. Instead of saying ”too hot to take a cab and wait for you at the bar dumbass” I’m like ”thank you *smile*”. So far I know that he thinks I’m hot. What else do we wanna know about Mr. Charming? DO NOT TALK ABOUT YOURSELF UNLESS HE ASKS. Men love to talk about themselves… So here’s the monologue:

ME: So why did you choose this restaurant?
HIM: Because I know the owner.
TRUTH: The only place I got a reservation at…

ME: It was so much fun last night (*smile*)! Out of all the beautiful girls you chose me. That’s so sweet. Why me?
HIM: Because you’re cool, classy and seem like a smart girl.
TRUTH: Because you’re hot and I want to f** you.

ME: So are you single?
HIM: Of course…
TRUTH: … Not.

It was about time to order and of course I didn’t make my choice yet but he just called the waiter screaming ‘can we take the order?!’ So I decided to just get a burger cuz after all this I do not care about what he thinks about me actually ordering a big fat burger or how I look while I’m killing it with ketchup all over my mouth.

While he was talking on his phone every now and then I wrote to all my BB-messenger connected girlfriends saying what a disaster I got into once again. Here the BB-messenger-answers

 Friend 1: WTF is wrong with him?
 Friend 2: Well if you wanna get laid why not. But don’t stay!
 Friend 3: Why does this always happen to YOU?
 Friend 4: Just say u go to the bathroom and LEAVE!

My girlfriends are so heartless… I can’t just leave right? I mean he wasn’t rude or anything. This poor guy doesn’t know any better! So I decided to keep on focusing and actually listen to what he had to say about his new car (he didn’t pick me up with), his ex-girlfriend (that was his actual fiancé), his job (he didn’t have) and last but not least how HOT he thinks I am.

After four Gin (Hendrix) tonics and a few cigarettes (outside without him) it started to get easier to deal with all his crap even though I should have been writing on my blogs at home instead of wasting my time totally dressed up in a restaurant I don’t want to be at with a man realized I don’t even wanna hang with.

I tend to be very unlucky with dates. I’m just a bad dater but ladies I didn’t mean to scare you because the good ones do exist! Here some tips and tricks for how to make it happen once you’re actually on a date:

NEVER REVEAL INFORMATION YOU DON’T HAVE TO. AN ENIGMATIC WOMAN DRIVES THEM WILD.

ALWAYS KEEP A GUY WAITING AND